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Summer_Twilight
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19 Oct 2015, 7:29 am

Hi:
I have always been a pretty straight forward person who is known not to hold back by telling someone like it is. That doesn't always work with some. I would like to know how to let someone how I feel without causing a rift or giving someone else the wrong idea about it or my motives.



kraftiekortie
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19 Oct 2015, 8:31 am

It really depends upon what that "something" is.

And, yes, it depends on the character of the person, too.

What do you want to confront the other person about?



Summer_Twilight
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19 Oct 2015, 11:26 am

What if the person is rigid and has not said "Thank you" for something that I had committed to help with?



MjrMajorMajor
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19 Oct 2015, 3:04 pm

Ask them why they haven't expressed it. Tell them you feel unappreciated when they don't verbally express any gratitude.



QuiversWhiskers
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19 Oct 2015, 8:38 pm

I think you shouldn't say anything at all. It is presumptuous to imply that the other person should be grateful for your commitment or contribution. And maybe they aren't thankful and you asking them about it will put them in an awkward position of having to come up with a reason for not thanking you.

Just take care and pleasure in whatever it is you are going to help with and who cares if anyone thanks you. Are you doing this activity because you want to be thanked or admired for it?

You should only say things like, "It helps me to feel encouraged when you thank and praise me for something I did" to a person you are in a very close, interdependent relationship with, like a spouse or significant other.



kraftiekortie
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19 Oct 2015, 9:51 pm

Of course it would be nice if somebody said "thank you" for something you did.

It's nice when someone appreciates what you did for them, and it's nice when people are grateful for good deeds.

I guess, in the case of "commitments," it's possible that the person will not "thank" you until the commitment is done.



looniverse
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29 Oct 2015, 1:16 pm

I'm not a lapdog.

I do not seek the approval of others, so would be indifferent to that situation.

I confront people when they try to get me to act contrary to my principles.

Beyond that, you cannot control the action or inaction of others. I've learned long ago that it's best not to let my mood be dependent on what other people do.



IceLilja
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29 Oct 2015, 10:12 pm

looniverse, true :D



Summer_Twilight
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30 Oct 2015, 6:56 am

You are right I can't control what others have said or done in the past that might have put me on offense or hurt me.