How do you know if someone is your friend?

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NotThatClever13
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30 Oct 2015, 7:32 pm

I've not been able to get an answer to this question. It usually elicits an interesting response from people I have asked but it seems my own definition system of what a friend vs acquaintance is seems to be quite different from that of most people. Friend seems to have a very loose and fickle definition in the wider world. What evidence would be necessary and at what point would you know someone was a real friend?



Fnord
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30 Oct 2015, 7:38 pm

They want to spend time with you, even when you're not giving them something.

They listen to your troubles, even when you've told them again for the umpteenth time.

They shut off their cell phones around you.

They invite you to parties with their other friends, even though you don't like parties, and may not like their other friends either.

They stand up for you, no matter who it is that they're standing up to.



NotThatClever13
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30 Oct 2015, 8:01 pm

That all seems to make sense. I guess what I am wondering is when will I know the difference between the fickle kind of use of the word friend and when someone actually means it under my definition of the word. What many people call friends I would class as acquaintances. Is there a defining moment?



Fnord
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30 Oct 2015, 8:03 pm

The defining moment is when they stop saying that they are your friends, and start acting like it.



NotThatClever13
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30 Oct 2015, 8:09 pm

Seems very weird to me that it would work in that order but what you said makes sense. Thank you. I guess the problem is that I have to examine things to figure it out where "normal" people will just know by intuition. I suppose that is why some of them get so confused by the questions I ask and cannot answer them.