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neilwalker1970
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03 Nov 2015, 3:32 pm

Hi,

I work in an office, with largely female workforce. We appear to get along fine. At lunchtime I normally go for a walk and they go to the canteen. However, with the weather being worse recently I have n't gone out and stayed in the office.

I feel I am missing out on social contact. Should I try to join them in the canteen and, if so, how should I join them without imposing myself where I'm not wanted.

Thanks :?



Kiprobalhato
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03 Nov 2015, 3:43 pm

ooh, i've always felt like the tag along.

could you ask them if the wouldn't mind you joining them? or perhaps ask if they would like to join you when you go to the canteen.

(and what's a canteen?)


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Kuraudo777
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04 Nov 2015, 9:51 am

I have felt like the tag-along all my life, especially when it comes to my cousin [even though I'm older than him by a year].
Isn't a canteen something that you drink out of? :?


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04 Nov 2015, 10:02 am

I think OP means canteen = cafeteria.

Ya, I've been either tag-along or lead-everything for most of my life.
The cure to that is (only on my rare good days) to see what people are going to do or doing at the moment and make it useful to you.
You're going to the cafeteria? OK, you can ask people stuff and banter, that's the perfect time. That way you actually enjoy yourself. But it's still risky, faux-pas still happen, but oh well.



Kuraudo777
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04 Nov 2015, 10:10 am

Oh, okay. As if things weren't confusing enough... :lol:
Whenever I'm in a group project at school, I always trail behind everyone and am usually the one who does all of the work.


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babybird
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04 Nov 2015, 11:14 am

Well OP, if it's a public area then you more than entitled to sit there and have your dinner with them.

This has happened to me before and I've sat or stood on my own. Sometimes people invite you over and sometimes they just leave you to it. Not out of ignorance but just because they think you're happy on your own.

I don't think you should feel as though you are imposing, especially if you already have a good working relationship with them.


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Meeko_09
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07 Nov 2015, 8:00 am

Have they ever invited you before?

People hardly invite me anywhere. I think it's just something that I put out. Like, I have an I hate everyone vibe.

However, at work. My boss and his group often invited me to lunch when I first started working there.

For some reason even though I wanted to go. I would say no I'm busy etc.

I noticed I did this then I was like okay the next time they ask I will say yes. Then I they asked and I froze and said no.

Then they stopped asking.

Idk. It's for the best.



Kiprobalhato
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07 Nov 2015, 6:04 pm

Meeko_09 wrote:
People hardly invite me anywhere. I think it's just something that I put out. Like, I have an I hate everyone vibe.


i think i do this too, more often now. it's not intentional.


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izzeme
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09 Nov 2015, 5:20 am

The canteen is a common room/shared area; there should be no objections to you also going there.



Kinme
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10 Nov 2015, 12:26 am

Just express to them that you'll be joining them. I think it should be fine.



Summer_Twilight
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16 Nov 2015, 10:25 am

I agree with the first poster which suggested that you ask if it is okay to join them. You might also say "Hey, the weather is cold right now so I don't get to do my routine walks as much. I would really like to join if that is alright."



bluegill
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16 Nov 2015, 11:52 am

I don't get invited to go anywhere either. A lot of times I feel like my friends are hanging out without me.