Am I good enough yet?

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Alright, there I something I desperately need to say.

There are tons of people out there who think I need to try to be as normal as possible. That is what I've been trying to do since I was around thirteen and I feel like it gave me brain damage. When I am trying hardest to act normal I just keep getting stressed out and then I make an arse of myself in public.

Contrary to popular belief, people with AS will never figure out how to be normal and "get used to it". We're always going uphill and against the wind.

Is it good enough if I just stay quiet in public? Do I really need to spend my free time socializing? Can't I spend my free time at home doing what I want?

Am I good enough yet? When will I be good enough?

I would say you are good enough when you are satisfied with your situation. Do not let others dictate what or how you should be but just be what and who you want to be.

You don't need to be exactly like everyone else.

"Good enough"...

I think this can be a harmful mindset, as when you get down to it everyone has flaws. People are a combination of greed, ignorance, selfishness, hastiness, awkwardness, and more on top of their positive traits, so anyone you meet could technically be better and have healthier relationships. Standing out or getting targeted does not make someone objectively worse than the rest.

I can't blame people for getting the wrong impression when something new that they're not used to dealing with shows up in their social world, but many also judge very quickly and cruelly. We can advise Aspies on how to blend in, communicate what they really mean, and avoid becoming a target, but we also risk telling them that what they are is wrong and other people are by default always in the right.

At the same time, not paying any attention to how you can better get along with those around you and not trip over each other is trouble. Something like not socializing is a big grey area. Some people need very little and a select few can survive on none, but for many there's a point where it becomes unhealthy to them even if it seems desirable because they struggle with people. Assuming that being different means zero contact won't make you go a bit batty after a few months is, well, an assumption.

That's for any individual to figure out, though.

I completely agree.

I used to try and fit into the box society tells me I'm supposed to be in, but it was so exhausting that I kind of lost myself along the way. It was only when I decided I was going to be my natural, awkward, autistic self no matter what, that I actually felt great. Not having to conform to the image people deem "normal" is liberating.

Everyone is going to have a different opinion of you, and of what "normal" is. If you based your self worth off of how people perceive you at any given time, I don't think you'll ever be happy. That goes for whether you're autistic or not.

Be yourself, always. Being free from living up to other people's standards makes life so much better :]

Yes, you are good enough already, have always been. You need to find people like you, who understand you and accept you. If people can't accept you, you don't need to have them in your life.

I know how you feel. I have Asperger & Cerebral Palsy, both of them make it VERY HARD for me to make friends, it's easier to make friends online, cuz you can be yourself. Stop making other ppl happy, Stop pretending to be something you not, live your life your way!

I don't really get along with my whole family, they don't understand me, I bet they don't know what Asperger means. My sister is the WORST!! ! She really think she knows me.

I'm quiet too in public & can be shy around my neighbors, I live on my own.

I agree with all of the above. Find what works well for you. Ignore the stereotypes.