I wonder if I come across as too needy.

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I have been actively reading books, watching good movies, watching good anime, etc, just so I would have other things to talk about in my life that does not involve me bitching, moaning and looking for a shoulder to figuratively cry on.

I have been trying to get out of my own head, and I find that I love listening to my friends talk.

But I get lonely when all of my buddies have other plans. I send out mass texts. I guess I do not have enough confidence in myself to enjoy my own companionship, but I do not want that to drive anybody else away from me.

I am hooked on external validation of worth, and that is not what friendships should be about. I get annoyed when I see others doing that, yet I do it myself. I need to knock off this BS. Seriously.

I crave human companionship, but I feel a need to give as much as I take, and I feel I have been taking far more than I have been giving. I feel like I am far too needy for my own good.

These are all more or less passive activities.
Got a bicycle? Get on that bike and cycle around.
If you have a mountainbike find some forest path and cycle there.
With passive stuff you won't get that self-validation.

You appear to me to be intelligent, insightful, mature, and interesting. Sadly, you also appear to be struggling with self esteem issues that undoubtedly have their roots in the horrific and ongoing abuse you have suffered at the hands of family.

I agree with Earthling that getting out and moving around could help you a lot. For one thing, it helps you reintegrate with your own body, something which many people in this 'sit down and look at the screen' culture badly need. For another, it helps your brain health and improves your general health, and has been proven to reduce anxiety, depression, chronic pain, and chronic inflammation.

Join a movie or book club, maybe you'll meet folks with similar interests.

Well KagamineLen it looks like you and I have a number of similar interests such as anime and movies. If you ever want to talk about those things I'm all ears, trying to expand my horizons anyway. I'm willing to bet there are others on here that you can talk with too.

Now as far as locally you might check to see if there's a local anime club or if there are any interesting conventions near you that you might be able to join from time to time. You might also try starting up such a group yourself, maybe even add in a few board games and the like.

I do work out at the YMCA a few times a week. An hour of cardio, followed with stretching and weightlifting every other time I show up there. I can bench press 200 lbs now, three sets of twelve repetitions, which is not bad, IMO.

I spend a lot of time with the books, the movies and the anime because when I find the right ones, they provide me with positive and socially acceptable stimulation. One of my big stim activities is hugging a pillow or a very large stuffed animal, but I never do that when anybody else is around. I can also spend hours listening to the rain hit the cover on my apartment's patio, or sit in a vehicle or any other enclosed space when it is raining outside. That's very calming for me. I use these things to keep a level head when nobody else is around. At least with the books, movies and anime, there is something to talk about with my friends later on in the day.

Joining a book club or an anime club sounds like a good idea, actually. I actually thought about starting a local seinen anime fan club on Meetup, since I'll take seinen over shonen or shojou any day of the week.

I also get a sense of accomplishment with my writing.

And starting in a couple of weeks, I will be volunteering at the local soup kitchen, serving meals to the homeless a couple of times a week.

The killer time for me when it comes to itching for attention from others is after everybody else is in bed, and I'm still awake, and it's after 10PM and the only places still open within walking distance are bars and Denny's. I guess that knowing that I have to wait until tomorrow to hear the voice of a friend really puts the pressure on me to learn to enjoy my own companionship.

Yeah I know what you mean. Some of my worst moments are late at night when I'm trying to go to bed. That's one of the times the depression hits me bad. Usually that's a good time to either read a book or go online and participate in some random forum or chatroom nonsense. Find a place that revolves around something you like that has international members and you'll be more likely to see people up and running during those late hours as it will be the afternoon for them. There's also guilds in MMORPGs with an international membership. My FFXIV free company has a number of people from the UK and even Asia so it's usually possible to BS from dusk to dawn if I really need to. I also enjoy writing and creative pursuits too. I recently wrote a fanfiction that I posted on FanFiction.net and I've also worked off and on for several years on my own fantasy rpg setting.

I can relate to the OP all too well. What further frustrated and confused me was that even people who appeared "needy" generally wanted nothing to do with me most of the time. All I can say is try to relax and not worry about how you come across: start doing things you enjoy and let the pieces fall as they may.

I finally looked into pricing at Meetup.com, so I decided to start a local Meetup group of my own.

If I build it, they will come.

Those words worked for Kevin Costner, could work for me. I guess.

Yesterday, a couple of people told me that they wanted me to start calling them less often. I was calling them once a day. I guess my neediness for human connection was suffocating them. I deleted their numbers off my phone, along with most of the other numbers on there. If people want to talk to me, they can call me. I have to learn how to be comfortable in my own skin. I have to learn how to be comfortable with being in solitude.