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Earthling
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08 Dec 2015, 5:44 pm

Many times I don't immediately act out of instinct, rather hold back and "wait and analyze" and end up not acting on the instinct at all (which is often what I'd imagine an NT would do).

For example, someone is offering me a handshake.
But I'm waiting an analyzing the situatuion, because it might be a joke or trick or something.
And then, a few seconds later, I don't want to give the handshake anymore, because waiting has created some sort of cognitive dissonance in my head ("I didn't decide to shake his hand 3 seconds ago, so why should I now?", this is the "not nice" version) OR anxiety to just forget about my first instinct ("nice version").
It doesn't really matter which happens, in the end I don't shake the person's hand and look like an as*hole. :(

"Waiting and analyzing" can be useful to not get screwed over by strangers, but in casual situatuions with friends it's often a hindrance.

Anyone can relate?



AuroraBorealisGazer
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09 Dec 2015, 1:43 am

Yes, I do it often and to an extreme. I have spent 6 months pondering whether or not to ask a friend to hang out, and if so, how I should ask, right down to the precise order of the words. At intermittent points during this grueling process, little internal me rages and screams "Jeezus! Just pick one already and do it!"



Malaise
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09 Dec 2015, 2:01 am

Yep. A lot of times I think about whether or not something would be good to say, and then I realize I've been silent for a bit and it would probably come across as forced to say it then.

Handshakes are something I just go with. If they're joking they're the as*hole, not me.



izzeme
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09 Dec 2015, 4:25 am

I think you do act on instinct, actually.
Your instinct tells you to "wait and analyze", which is a fair response to many situations; i do the same