How do I get my cousins to talk to me?

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I have two cousins on my dad side, one of whom is 14 (about to be 15) and a girl, and the other is 19, and a girl.....
they both live i Turkey, andI used to call them so frequently, sometimes even every day, and when they wouldn't pick up I'd call again....
my dad told me they got tired of it and complained, and that I was bothering them, and sure enough, over a year later, (today) I called and they didn't pick up....
I sent a friend request to the 19 year old on facebook, but when i checked to see her profile again, the buttons for adding friends and messaging were gone.....
the 14 year old deleted her facebook a long time ago...
I'm not going to Turkey this summer, because my dad says i had to have been going to normal school (not alternative) for a year, and i found out i can't go back next semester, and even if I could, it'd only be HALF a year...
so I have to wait a year and 5 months to see them, and the only place i could find them was instagram, and i added them and am waiting for a reply...
what should I do?

Give it up. They obviously consider you less important than anything they have going on in their own lives. There is hope, though; they will likely want to talk to you after you have become successful - that is, after you have graduated high school, earned a college degree, and started a long-term career.

My relatives wanted little to do with me until after I had moved to California, got a job, got married, bought a house, and posted a few pictures on Facebook of my wife and I at our home, Disneyland, Tijuana, Big Sur, and Yosemite.

Then they started calling me, and it became my turn to not answer their calls until it was convenient for me.

I cannot stand it when I do something that others see as inappropriate but respond an a inappropriate manner by going behind my back and complaining that I did this or that. They really could have been more direct with you.

You could write to them and mention that you'd appreciate it if they would be upfront with you about what you did to put them on offense. If they give you an excuse then you might tell them that while you respect their wishes there is no excuse to be disrespectful to you.


On the other hand calling people everyday gets old really fast and I know that since I have seen both sides.

1. I used to call up a close childhood friend everyday while also making multiple phone calls and she answered each time. My friend's step set some firm boundaries about that. Like with your cousins she lost her interest in me as she got older and started dating.

2. I had a close friend who is my age who also has severe disabilities along with being sheltered and very spoiled. She doesn't have a job along with living in a very secluded area as well. She gets very lonely. It's when she makes friends that she gets really clingy and demanding by calling you excessively if you do not pick up the phone. I had tried to set boundaries with her several times and she didn't want to listen.

You should get back into your poetry.

And start reading Arab poets (do you know Arabic?).

Arabic has a great literary tradition going back many centuries.

Or poetry in any language.

Well their actions hurt your feelings along with being cowardly.

Cowardly or not, someone should step up and be a real parent to this kid.

Yes, and all of the book-learning in the world won't change two simple facts:

1) Money talks - poverty walks.
2) He who walks, walks alone.

If you have nothing, then you have nothing to offer. With nothing to offer, no one will be interested in you.

Or are you currently dating a homeless person?

Are you planning on making a little dog pull a huge sled so you can steal all the toys in Whoville?

Are you planning on employing any more not-so-subtle personal attacks whenever you're presented with facts that you can't refute?

I have to agree... It almost seems like this guy has a vendetta towards you or people like you. grasping for straws it seems with the attempted insults. I understand entirely what you are saying.

Status is big, and it can inspire a sense of "liking" someone in an average person, definitely. How would it not be evolutionarily advantageous to automatically tend towards people who can provide you the most assistance. You think all of these people are constantly faking their friendliness and genuine appreciation of people in power just because they know it is advantageous. Absolutely not. I believe it's absolutely a natural instinct, albeit an annoying one

For those us of that realize that the instinct is there mostly to ensure survival, NOT necessarily to give real life satisfaction. And in this day and age, especially, kissing ass isn't necessary if you don't want to do it as their are many different means to survive (typically)

The result is some people don't care about success, wealth, power as we realize there is more to life than to be floundering over this s**t constantly
But the majority still do, and no matter how fun, friendly, empathetic and selfless you were towards them. Their opinion of you will largely stay the same until you do something socially significant (in the eyes of others) to change it