Virgins interacting with non-virgins

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Why is it that everyone gives me a hard time about being a virgin? I'm over 20 years old and my younger siblings have all had relationships and aren't virgins anymore. Whenever the topic of sex or dating comes up in some conversation they always pick on me for never have kissing a girl before or saying "you wouldnt even know what to do with a girl" and all that BS. Its the same when Im at college it seems everyone in my class has been in some relationship and whenever the topic comes up and I try to change the subject I get teased, ridiculed, or their tone/presence feels intimidating. I feel so pathetic compared to other people and because I cant communicate well, sometimes I feel that the few friends I have arent really friends, they just enjoy watching me make a fool of myself

Same here-been a virgin a lot longer and people seem to use it as a yardstick to some sort of sucess or manhod or whatever-I do want to experience sex someday hopefully soon before I get too old and undesireable-though it may be too late already

It's weird how they treat guys about being virgins, and you guys are right they use it as something to gauge accomplishment in life. Whereas being a girl, and in my mid twenties I tell people I am a virgin and yes I am ashamed of it but I get applauded. "Well good for you, I've known so many girls who aren't and they regret it!" The double standard is sickening

I am a virgin and no one ever gives me a hard time about it. A lot of people are like "good. it's better to wait. i wish i had." or they say that it's cute or something.Call me innocent. The worst i get from people who know (because, honestly, who would know if you didn't tell them either way?) is that i should get laid to "mellow out" because i am very anxious and apparently sex fixes that. hur hur

Something happens when someone loses their virginity. They realize that they cannot undo what they have just done and then they become very insecure with themselves.

With their newfound insecurity the former virgins feel a need to rip on virgins to feel better about themselves.

At least, this is the typical case among males.

I can't remember the last time anyone in any of my social circles talked about who's a virgin and who's not a virgin. And it's not just because I'm old. I can't remember such discussions when I was in high school or after high school or any time in college or hanging around as a single adult. I mean, sure, I had a kid when I was 19 so, I mean, secret's out that I wasn't a virgin but, still, we never ever talked about it like it was a topic.

Is this a thing that guys talk about with guys only? My husband says that when he was in high school, guys would tease each other about being virgins, not knowing for sure who was or wasn't, just for teasing sake... then the guys being teased would have to deny it and so on. But, this wasn't ever something that I experienced.

I would just not divulge that kind of personal information. Your sex life is your business. If someone teases you, roll your eyes or whatever people do nowadays to disengage from the discussion at hand. I wish I could tell you more. This thread has me stumped.

I'm lucky in this regard. My one group of friends is female exclusively, they know it and they don't care beyond the fact that they said that they would get me hooked up with someone (no, thanks). My other group of friends is exclusively male, and they are not into this whole macho-BS that we would talk about these kind of things all day long. If the topic comes along, I just drop comments like "yeah, you know how it is!", or "That's how it goes!", stuff like that, or I simply smile and shrug when I'm asked about such a thing. Took me a while to find friendship based on mutual respect, and while they are not macho, I don't want to challenge my luck by mentioning such a thing.

comparable situation here; a full virgin at 24 years old; i never even held hands romantically in my life (or in other situation then to help someone remain/regain balance, really).
however, in my peer group, everyone for some reason "knows" i'm not, often when arriving at breakfast after some social gathering (later then the rest; gotta sleep off the anxiety) i get all the *winkwinknudgenudge* from everyone, becouse apparently, i have been chatting up a girl just before i disappeared; i even tell them i'm going to sleep every time...
this is mainly annoying if you consider that i actually do need a significant other for my mental peace; yet on a lot of occasions, the group goes out to "find someone" for a friend who's single for a month orso, yet they never seem to notice me :S

I had the same problem. I had my first boyfriend at 17 when all my siblings started at 13. And my first sexual relationship was at 23, with the man I married. People always want yo force you to do things, being having a boyfriend, having sex, trying drugs. I learned to walk away from that people, ignoring them or just switching the subject abruptly. That last skill is wonderful for working with small children throwing tantrums.

I don't get why people even care whether or not someone is a virgin.....for one sex is not the most important thing in life(in my opinion) so I see no problem with someone waiting until they find the right person or until they are ready. Not being a virgin only means you have had sex.....it says nothing about you as a person other then you've had sex(do people want a cookie or something for losing their virginity? because they sure do act like the want rewarded). So yeah don't worry about what other people say about it....its your life not theirs.

The reason is people have this primal, primitive, evolutionary survival instinct that if someone's a virgin, they're threatening part of the growth and continuance of the human race by not propagating (or having a chance to). People still hold on to this mode of thinking. It seems human civilisation is not advanced or developed enough quite yet to do otherwise. That still leaves the difference in which male and female virgins are treated, but it's still a primal thing where the male is expected to be more assertive about losing their virginity in the first place. The people who make fun of virginity have sex on the brain, as opposed to being more advanced in intellectuality or deep thinking. People like us need to, as far as possible, associate with people who have sex on the brain as little as possible, and with deep thinking people who appreciate there's a vast world beyond sex obsession as much as possible.

What do you do about someone persistently interrogating you about your sex life, and who will not give up? Not saying this is happening to me (because it isn't) but I would wonder how to deal if this ever happened to me.

I really don't know. That strikes me as a type of bullying, a type of abuse. I have been "interrogated" about other things, but never my sex life. I simply refuse to divulge the information and, if possible, stop hanging out with the person who does this to me.

that happened to me once and i had no idea how to stop it. a man told me i had a pretty smile and then, because i was shy, persisted to ask me relentlessly whether i'd ever has sex with a man. i didn't want to confirm or deny it as i felt it was none of his business either way. he just wouldn't shut up!

Most people that go on and on about it really don't know sh*t about sex. It is pretty immature. When people would brag I would just say something like, "Well, I'm sure it was worth the penicillin shot".

At the ripe old age of seventeen, only three of my close friends from high school have lost their virginity. Doesn't affect our friendship apart from the standard teasing that goes on with guys. But one of them's a vegetarian who, so I've got that over him.