After this, I am not even sure I want friends...

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...and truly believe I am indeed on the "wrong planet". Introverted aspie bordering on the age of 30 who has a few close friends. The person who I am about to describe in this topic was by far my best friend, someone who I told everything to, and she did the same with me. She is a 45-year-old woman from China, someone who has many internal qualities that I value--she is hard-working, honest, and tries to find happiness in the simple joys of life. She is very committed to family and lives with her mother, whom she loves very much, and has a boyfriend of 7 years who lives 300 miles away whom I know nothing about.

I would typically talk to her about once per week and meet with her in person 1 or 2 times per month, strictly platonic meetings where we would drink a coffee and discuss life. But over the course of a year, the meetings seemed more "forced"...it is difficult to explain, but I eventually called her out on her waning interest. Her reply is this, "I have a boyfriend, we have to stop meeting like this."

I was completely shocked. I have never touched her, kissed her, heck, I am 15 years her junior, and she somehow now feels uncomfortable? She says that her mother has been putting pressure on her to stop seeing me, that she equates it to "cheating" while she has a boyfriend, and that it is a "cultural thing that I wouldn't understand".

She is right, I don't understand. I like seeing her as a friend, I confide in her, she confides in me, and she always seems to enjoy my company. And when she proceeded to show a completely cold and shallow side of herself, I took her up on her offer and told her that we were finished. And she told me, "No, we can still be friends, but I cannot keep seeing you," which I took as an insult...friends see each other and are not ashamed of each other!

I mean, can't two people simply have a good time together without letting these "labels" and "standards" get in the way? I do not understand some of the basic aspects of life that are just utterly absurd to me.

You're experiencing turbulence as a result of filial piety. It's a big crazy ball of wax that grew out of embellished Confucianism. She didn't insult you. Her mother probably insulted you by proxy.

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Yep....definitely a cultural thing. Please don't lose faith in people because of this.

There's other friends in the sea.

That sounds like it is NOT your PROBLEM to deal with and nor are you in control of the situation. If she wants to give into everyone else then maybe she's not good friendship material to begin with.

I had the same thing happen to me with someone else who is your friend's age along with me being 11 years younger and she had the same reaction to me. Like I said above. It's NOT my PROBLEM.

It does indeed seem like a matter of cultural propriety. She may be getting pressure from her mother and possibly her boyfriend that it is inappropriate for a woman to meet with another man if she is getting more serious with her boyfriend. It's possible she isn't ashamed of you, just that she is trying to comply with cultural mores while still wanting to maintain your connection.
Consider, we have shadows of this in western culture too - about ten years ago I knew a couple, the male side of which had a friend he had been best friends with since childhood. When this couple started getting serious (moving in together, unspoken assumption they'd marry some day, yadda yadda) the girlfriend got angry whenever he hung out with his friend, and forbade him to go anywhere with this girl alone, the inference being that they would have sex. It's irrational, and very common.
Maybe you could compromise, if you still enjoy one another? Take the connection online and still be part of each other's lives, while helping her to comply with the cultural pressure she's under?

I had a different thought as I read your thread. Perhaps, she was beginning to have 'feelings' for you? And, thus she felt like she needed cease communication altogether.

Or, like the others said, it's simply a cultural thing. I'm sorry, you sound pretty hurt, whatever the reason.

I wouldn't take it as an insult at all, I don't know much about Chinese culture but as others have mentioned it probably has something to do with that. Besides if I had a girlfriend who was fairly regularly meeting up with another guy I'd ask her to stop as well. I'm sure she didn't mean any offence