Who was in the wrong here?

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At my local bar once I went into the upstairs restroom of the establishment. In the restroom I saw an aquentaintence of mine who was being confronted by a bouncer in one of the cubicles.(I have never seen that bouncer at that particular club before so I think he was new) my memory is hazy but I think I then said to the bouncer "is everything okay with my friend" from what memory serves me the bouncer then looked at me a little bit puzzled but didn't really say anything.

About 10 minutes later that night the bouncer grabbed me by the arm and said "right you were involved in drugs in the restroom your leaving". I then said to the bouncer "I don't do drugs he's just a friend of mine". He then released my arm and said to me "listen just don't get involved when I am talking to another club patron". A bit later on I got angry that the bouncer got in my personal zone and grabbed me by the arm and went to confront him about it saying " I have never done drugs in my entire life" the bouncer said "that's fine just have a good night" and I left it at that.



Who do you think was in the wrong here me or the bouncer? Not the first time I have problems with door staff.

Hi jamesy,

I do understand not wanting to see a friend in a situation that might be dangerous. And I also understand how upsetting it can be to be touched when you don't want to be.

If it were me, I would definitely never again visit a bar with the acquaintance who got busted for drugs. I would find other people to hang out with ... In fact, for my own safety I'd rather be alone than in bad company.

It sounds like the bouncer was just doing his job ... and he let you off easy.

Like Phoenix said: Just stop going to those kind of bars! You're just asking for trouble.

No one was in the wrong cause nothing really happened, you mouthed off and he got in your personal zone. I guess technically you were both in the wrong but you have to understand that bouncers in that kinda establishments are normally moody at best. He was doing his job and he perceived you as a threat to his job, once he learned otherwise he let it go. In this kinda establishment and environment, its best to also let it go. You probably came across as wanting to start a problem by continuing to bring it up, don't do that again if you do want to fit into the bar scene. I don't consider that anything bad happened though, you weren't asked to leave once you explained yourself and he left you alone for the most part. Things could have ended much much worse.

Yep....that's right.

Sometimes, bouncers are given carte blanche. It means they can do what they want to do with you. Some of that includes bodily harm.

And the cops won't do diddly--they'll probably arrest YOU!

Yeah, who knows what the bouncer was thinking.

Your friend was caught for drugs and for all we know the bouncer assumed you asking about your 'friend' was codeword for saying "I'm a drug dealer and this is my client/customer you're hurting, are you trying to start trouble?"

He might have took what you said as a threat to his job like the others said and dealt with it the only way he knew how.

That's what you've got to be careful with regarding bouncers/nightclub/bar security.

Just try to leave them be. Considering what kind of scene/crowd they deal with..

But I'd be upset as well and probably have done the same thing to help my friend at the time. I wouldn't visit that place again especially if that bouncer is a regular worker he might have realized you're not doing drugs but still hassle you a bit.

I've seen and heard of bouncers really giving people a good beating
Is part of it steroid use?

I hope you HAVEN'T done drugs!

I don't believe you've done drugs, by the way.

When you first had the interaction with him you were denying using drugs a little too much,

So he could be saying it as a joke referring back to the first time you were interacting,

if he is a bit of a bully he could be doing it to harass you for his entertainment,

This could be a dangerous situation for you because you are on his radar,
It's like when the high school bully selects you as a target

When the bouncer accuses you of being a druggie for a joke over and over again this is very dangerous
because this will eventually annoy you, you might let your guard down and show annoyance at the bouncer , then he will get angry at someone who he considers weak showing annoyance at him and he could then lure you away from the crowd and beat you up.

Either stop attending the bar altogether or next time he comes up to you engage him in some kind of friendly conversation to show that you are not just a victim.
Actually trying to converse with him could also be dangerous if he misinterprets your tone of voice of body langiage

I agree with slenkar.

Whenever he's off-duty, he has no authority over you and is your equal, so make sure to act like he is when he is off-duty.

If he keeps joking about you and the drugs while he's off-duty, just brush it off. If he laughs about it laugh with him 'Haha yeah, that was a pretty funny situation' and then try and engage in friendly conversation if possible.

I'm not saying you do drugs,
The bouncer is making a joke because you made a point of going up to him to deny taking drugs, after the first incident was already over.
So now he is pretending to accuse you, to wind you up, it could just be a friendly joke.

If you look like you work out bouncers sometimes do engage you in friendly conversation.