Paying for people

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Does anyone know or have opinions on why people generally don't like things being paid for? Let me explain... If two people are at a drinks machine or bar, one might say to the other that they'll "get this round", and that's usually accepted. If two people are eating, or going to a concert, cinema, theme park ride, ferry crossing, whatever, and one person said to the other that this one's "on them", I think this is generally rejected (outside of dating).

Is it sheerly the amount of money, issues with comparative financial wealth,or is it the perceived social worth of goods/services being purchased? Do people feel that their company is being bought? Do they feel belittled or patronised?

^That's an interesting consideration. I feel like money is actually worthless, myself.

For me, it's about ability to pay back.

I don't even like someone saying "I'll get this round" to me, because I drink Coke or Pepsi. I then feel a commitment to return the "I'll get this round" and know I'm probably going to end up spending more money buying someone else's drink. It'll remain constantly unequal!

If someone's saying "I'll get this" for something bigger like the cinema, a concert or a theme park then there is no chance at all that I'll get to pay that back the same night. I can't say "sure, you get this ticket and I'll get the next one", because it's unlikely we'd be watching two films in a row or one concert after another. So I end up in debt for longer (or vice versa) and it hangs over me, because I know I need/want to make things equal again but then I have to commit to another cinema visit/concert to do that.

At least when it's just a drink, though I'll probably lose out financially, I can get everything back to equality by the time we leave the pub!

In my case, I think it's unfair, and I don't want to take advantage of others. I don't really view it as others having power over me.

If you met somebody born during the Depression in the 1930's, they would feel insulted if somebody would deign to pay for them.

It's a pride thing.

It's also a "not wanting to be indebted to that person" thing as well.

It seems most people have mixed feelings about favors. I'm in this camp.

The below is something I've written on it before.

I feel the same way as ArielsSong. If I buy a drink or something for anyone then I always make a point if saying 'this is in return for you doing xyz earlier that was really nice'. That way they feel like the gesture is just me 'repaying' them for something they did for me earlier and don't feel like they owe me anything else.

I don't like feeling indebted to other people and I don't want them to feel like that to me either. I prefer everything to stay equal in the universe!

i have always had enough money to do me, and if someone cannot stay hanging around (that i like) because they are broke then i just give them the money to get what they want. i never care about them paying me back.
that may sound nice of me, but on the other hand i would not give them any money if i would suffer in any way because of it, and i am careful to tell them that so as to douse their unfounded "gratitude".

i do not give them money for thanks, i give it to them so they can stay talking to me if they want (more drinks, cab fare home etc).

i do not borrow money from people because i do not trust that it would not be an issue in their heads that i owe them.
when i have borrowed money (due to absolute necessity (like lost wallet and got to get cab home)), then i always tell them i will give them double the amount back, and i do.

some people tell me that i am suffocating their sense of generosity by being overly recompensative, but i prefer them to know that i understand that money means much more to them than to me.