She's weird

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A few years ago a close friend elected to cut all ties with me because she claims that I kept getting mad at her all the time though her sister claims my friend told her a different story about being too negative.

While she seemed to have no problem dumping me, there is another friend in her life who is not really interested in my former friend. She keeps leading my friend around and making plans but often bails with excuses. I looked on her facebook page and I saw that they got together recently.

Here I was the real friend who was there for her and she dumped me despite how she felt in the end and she lets the other one hurt her but can't seem to pull the plug on that relationship.

Why?

Because you're too good of a friend for her. I'd say she's better left alone. You deserve better than to be dumped because you are a bit different. Despite your differences, you are a great friend.

Source: Experience. Only deal with those who deserve your friendship.

As she put it when we sat down so she could poor out her sorry excuses why we could not be friends, she did mention that all her life she's felt like a pile of dog crap. So I know she's pretty insecure.

By the way I am working on forgiving her and that includes learning to feel sorry for her but this came to mind recently.

Sounds similar to my friend woes. I find ppl are attached to those who mistreat them and throw away the loyal ones. I just don't get it.

Right! That's the story of my life. One friend would even come back and tell me how horrible her other friends were to her. In college, I just realized that I deserved better friends. And believe me, they are out there. They are secure, kind, and understanding. And the best part, intelligent. Never settle for bad friends. Until she settles her insecurity issues, she will continue to treat you horribly. Are you nice? Considerate? You deserve the same.

How do I tell when someone is insecure from the get go?

If someone has a low opinion of themselves, they may translate this to not respecting the opinion of anyone who genuinely likes them, seeing it as a sign of your bad taste or stupidity, and gravitating to those that mistreat them, seeing it as a sign that the mistreater has accurately assessed them as deserving of poor treatment. They work to please the mistreater, as any sign that that person is impressed is taken seriously, while you liking them is seen as a sign that you are a dope and your opinion doesn't matter.

It isn't your fault, but do the healthy thing for yourself and avoid them if they treat you as if you don't matter, or you're being sucked into the same way of thinking.

Yep that sounds like my former friend alright and she made me feel bad by making cutting remarks here and there about her family, friends and spouse having a problem with me over this or that. She also cut me down all the time for this or that.

- I wear my hair short and that I was too young to have short hair
- I needed to wear more make up

Maybe it's better that way. Sometimes you must let go of failed friendships and move on.