Correct me if I am wrong extroverts and introverts

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This is what I think why extroverts are extroverts and why introverts are introverts.I feel that extroverts lead a blessed life because their parents always listen to them readily , whereas for introverts, parents dont readily listen to them and dismiss whatever they say as BS, crap. Also, introverts' family members/ parents/teachers /relatives like to look down on introverts because they see them as quiet and they hardly care about introverts presence . In addition,extroverts tend to have so many accomplishments whereas introverts do not have or have some. Surely, you know that you are good at something, and that something which has been accomplished could become a conversational topic and also one dont have to worry about people/friends looking down on you (referring to the extroverts). And I believe if parents actually listen to introverts, their views or opinions, one wont have to be an introvert at all and they will gain confidence in sharing their views or opinions and they will not be an introvert. I believe that people mindsets have to be changed . Parents and teachers should give introverts the chance to excel and not undermine introverts ability and parents should not favour extroverted children and treat children equally regardless of their personalities, whether extroverts or introverts.But I also agree that introverts have to put in effort to make friends.

There is actual measured brain differences between the two.

What you are referring to here is the 'nature vs. nurture' argument and I think it's a little bit of both - environmental factors (aka the things you believe cause introversion and extroversion) and natural factors such as genetics, brain structure, etc.

But yes I agree with everything you have said regarding how introverts and extraverts develop out of environmental factors.

Most social, confident, popular people throughout life are extraverts, specifically privilged ones with a relatively sheltered and coddled upbringing.

The popular people in high school can really let their talents shine and achieve and be engaged with their world while the efforts of introverts usually go ignored or unnoticed.

I'm not an introvert or extrovert but an ambivert but still observe this throughout my life.

An introvert who does the same thing as an extrovert will not recieve the same attention/appreciation for their efforts
Plenty of visible extroverts who might be celebrated for contributing to charity, environmentalism, etc. while an introvert does it without recieving social reward/appreciaton from others.

The studies also show extroverts tend to be happier in life and in general, more successful, recieve higher pay for the same amount of effort in workforce, etc.

So i also agree intros re at a disadvantage.

Unfortunately I've also found living life as an ambivert is alright and helps me because I have more confidence and more social and open than introverts but I still lack almost all the benefits extroverts get...

Simply put in a world that over-values Socialness over other important things such as work ethic, morals, character, intelligence, talent, etc. the extroverts are lucky b*stards for almost no effort on their part as confidence and social skills come entirely naturally to them while introverts who struggle to learn social skills will only get stepped on and struggle to even get noticed for their achievements.

Besides, most social rules and cultural norms are built by extroverts in the first place and are dictated by them.

It's an extrovert's world...recent generations have seen a rise in introvert culture I think, as the internet has helped communication between introverts around the world.

This is good for introverts but not personally for myself. I often dislike the attitude of introverts. I can be friends with them and enjoy it but most enjoy being at home too much instead of going out and doing fun things, I also dislike the fact most joke about introversion so much over the internet ('Oh I HATE parties, parties suck lol I hate people lol I'd rather just stay at home and netflix on my friday night lol I tell friends im having a big weekend when I just need time away to 'recharge' and im actually inside on a friday night reading a good book/netflix lololol).

Seriously I see introvert internet jokes everywhere and all i can say is 1. these people are annoying and 2. no I do not relate at all to your jokes so I really dont find it funny at all.

DEATH TO CAPTCHA

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extravers ... troversion

I don't find this is true.

I've seen extroverts become bums.

I've seen introverts become full professors.

My thoughts: 1)Are introverts not open-minded enough such that do they not feel at ease with just one extrovert or an ambivert, they could spend less time with extroverts/ambiverts, extroverts and introverts could plan in advance a moderate period of time to spend on activities.Or are they open-minded? 2) what if extroverts/ ambiverts do the reverse? Propose to the introverts that you would go to their house and play board games with them or watch movies and sing song or do any introvert stuff? Would the extroverts and introverts suffer in this situation? 3) Could the people who are labelled as introverts, actually prefer to do productive stuff during their free time than socialising in their spare time ? Could they be extroverts, but not introverts instead

Sometimes, in my experience, introverts complement extroverts--and vice versa.

Sometimes, however, they don't.

Open-mindedness does not correlate with either extraversion or introversion.

Extraversion tends to be manifested in outgoing, talkative, energetic behavior, whereas introversion is manifested in more reserved and solitary behavior. Neither of these has anything to do with intelligence, reasoning or closed/open mindedness

By the way, it's spelled "extraversion". Please make a note of it.

No, the introvert would experience suffering when the extrovert starts boasting about their many achievements When I was your age I was seriously introverted, though I thought it was no joking matter. This changed as I got older. Don't you think that introversion can fade over time?

I believe it is situational depending on
A. Place
B. Subject
C. Time of day
D. Other people around
E. Number of people around
F. Internal stuff
What's your experience?

Example some days in spin class I'm silent , other days and times I'm making comments.
In another venue, my wife tells me I become someone else on stage, less introverted and able to handle the unexpected, More Alive.

"Still too old to know it all"

Hm? I didn't mean to sound close-minded.

If you're not an ambivert, you wouldn't understand.

I don't know about other ambivert's but in my experiences it's almost always been 'my way or the highway' regarding most friends.

I've only ever been friends with introverts my entire life, and I find myself having to be the one to drag them out of their comfort zone all the time.

And yes, I understand many introverts are perfectly comfortable living the way they are but that's not what I mean.

Most people I have been friends with have WANTED to get out of their comfort zone and I usually have to help them do it because I've notced they're almost entirely incappable of doing it themselves.

This makes me have to work hard to get them out of their shell just so I can have fun with them, and friendship shouldn't have to feel like a chore.

Same thing with extraverts, I've found I am usually the more quiet//relaxed person and have to try and convinve them to stop being so energetic and full of life and just slow down a little. Again, not forcing them agaisnt their will, but trying to do the introvert way of things and say 'Hey, can we just sit down and play some board games like you say.

Ambiverts seem rarer than the other two, so we are mostly friends with introverts or extraverts. We have to do most of the work in friendships without seeing many of the benefits.

And when I say I dislike the attitude of introverts, I genuinely mean it. All over different webistes I see introverts joking about themselves, especially those about my age. You might as well say their sense of humor is self-depreciating. Your awkwardness, social anxiety in social situations or at parties, need to 'recharge' and spend weekends entirely alone, lack of charisma, etc. are no laughing matters.

You could say being an introvert isn't wrong but just 'different', but the majority of introvert jokes I come across are ones specifically making fun of their own difficulties.

It's like watching aspies make light-hearted jokes of the struggles we have to deal with - it's a sad and pathetic display because it's just not funny.

I agree with Retrogamer who says introverts are nothing to joke about.

This isn't to say extraverts are good and introverts bad, just that introverts are the only ones that actually joke about their difficultues I've noticed.

I never see extroverts joke 'I just need to calm down/slow down/relax in life'. The only joke they make is basically 'I'm just a littly crazy sometimes and super hyperactive' and that's it.

Don't you think it's kind of sad to see introverts joking 'I don't like people on the weekends. I hate people outside of school/work. I would have loved to see my friend if I saw them at work but since they showed up to my house I can't like that because I hate people on Sundays. I go to parties just to sit alone and miserable in a corner and sneak-out and leave before my friends notice lol I'm so nervous I say something awkward to an extrovert and walk away feeling like an idiot lol' 'I wanna talk to people! But only for a few minutes. And then go home in total isolation to recharge (that one's real, the rest are just paraphrased).'

Here's more: https://www.google.com.au/search?q=intr ... sl&imgrc=_

I found out the 'extroverts are happier' thing is due to skewed results - the happiness factor was based on how much you spend time around other people because the tests believed this is the source of extraverts happiness and ignored other factors as an influence.

Also, because extraverts are more focused on the external world and not themselves, they might spend less time worrying about their inner problems and issues.

But either way, the statistics still say extraverts report more happiness, better self-esteem, more success in thw workforce, higher pay, etc.

I'm assuming Ambiverts would be the same except with slightly less benefits or benefits of a lower intensity.

I like introverts. I am sympathetic for them, I am friends with them, I do meet them half way, if anything I meet them 100% and just end up doing things their way.

Not all introverts have a self-depreciating sense of humor but the one's who do, it's almost like they're using it as a coping mechanism for the difficulties it brings them and their life.

Introversion is certainly not as severe as Asperger's but introverts still have difficulties.

Last edited by Outrider on 23 Jan 2016, 9:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

In other words, "It's an ambivert thing - you wouldn't understand", right?

Many times, when someone is being rude and obnoxious, and then responds to my objections with "It's a <name of ethnicity> thing - you wouldn't understand", as if being their particular ethnicity automatically gives them superior knowledge and understanding into human behavior, as well as a license to be rude and obnoxious.

It's a condescending thing to say, and I find it objectionable.

Alright, yeah I've been typing pretty obnoxiously you're right. I don't know i've just been very disorganized with what I am trying to say particularly in this thread but I mean no aggression or to be intense.

I just mean to state my experiences and my sole experiences alone and how this has affected me personally.

Introverts are cool, they're great and complement my personality well and perhaps extraverts would as well.

But from my end of things, limited solely to my experiences as an ambivert, I'm the one who has to drag introverted friends out of their shell if they actualy want to get out of their shell. The work is placed on me and it's either that or just sit around with them at their house bored stiff.

I visited my best friend who lives in another city for a week and he was content with spending the entire week cooped up in his house. We did have video games, dvds and card games and such but that just doesn't make for great fun to me in a new place I've never visited.

We did end up going to the beach, hitting the town, and touring a variety of other important spots, all by my efforts and not his.

His family obviously provided the transportation and his mother had the same mindset as me - it's great you want to get out and sightsee!

But it's a little disappointing some friends need such a push to really get them out there.

To me the introverts I have come across have either been difficult to actually be friends with, or self-depreciating people who make jokes out of social struggles and difficulties.

Introverts are simply more difficult than extraverts, and like said before, my argument is that this shows. They report less happiness, less success in the workforce, higher rates of depression, anxiety, etc.

Society just favors extraverts... It's about having a certain skillset and being able to sell yourself. I don't think one is better than the other. They're just variables in a system where both have their pro's and cons but neither is a guarantee to success.

I've always felt that introverts are people who feel energised and happy in doing more solitary quieter activities. Loud, busy places are difficult and uncomfortable for them. They could be regarded as 'sensory avoiding' to some extent.

Whereas I see extroverts as people who are recharged and happy being really busy and loud in highly stimulating environments. For them doing quieter more solitary activites feel like a 'little death'. (This is what an extrovert friend said.) They could be regarded as 'sensation seeking' to some extent.

I think this difference is a biological brain thing. Some brains are more sensitive so require less input to feel ok.

That said though I also think, sometimes, that extroverts like being with other people because they get more out of it than they give (not in a selfish sense but just becuase of the way they are wired) whereas introverts like being alone because they get less than they give when they're with others and don't feel that drain when they're alone. (I'm an introvert and that's how I feel, although it could be that my autism makes being with others a difficult thing for me to manage.)

I think introverts are beneficial to other introverts and extroverts and beneficial to other extroverts.

I have generally found the opposite of everything in the OP's post.

I'm an introvert and my two younger siblings are extroverts. Guess who got the most attention and respect from our introvert parents? ME! The introvert!

Indeed, the less talkative you are (which isn't the same thing as introversion, but people tend to connect the two qualities), it seems people who know you pay more attention to what you say.



Where I come from, most authority figures are biased in favor of introverts. They consider most extroverted behavior a nuisance in most situations. Their idea of good behavior is mostly stuff that introverts would have an easier time with. I feel bad for the extroverts (even though I also find most of them a bit annoying!) because I know they can't help wanting to act like that.

From what I've heard, it seems extroverts are considered better in other parts of the world, but around here, the world is made for introverts. Extroverts are delinquents, unless they behave like introverts. The only people who like extroverts are other extroverts, and they are not the ones with the power.



It seems like it's easier for introverts to accomplish things that other people will respect them for--good grades, art, music, engineering/inventing, sometimes sports. Extroverts need to socialize a lot, and socializing takes time away from working on these goals. Extroverts might have an edge at group projects, but then they are at the mercy of how reliable their teammates are, and the kudos get split among the group.



Wait, what? Not being an introvert would be terrible. Not only do I like the way I am (in this regard), but I also appreciate the fact that everyone else seems to like the way I am as well.

Maybe you should start listening to the views and opinions of introverts. It's pretty offensive for you to act like our personality is something that we need to be cured of.

That correlation doesn't even make sense. Certainly, parenting can have an affect on a child's personality, but if my parents being apathetic jerks caused my introversion, how come my siblings weren't so lucky? They got stuck being extroverts. It seems like plenty of other extroverts also had crap parents.



Well, true, but in my area, becoming more fair would mean valuing extroverts more.



Everybody does... but extroverts have to put more effort to make friends, because they want more friends.



Both spellings are considered correct, but my browser's spell checker flags "extraversion" as being wrong, which makes me more inclined to type "extroversion."



Maybe, but why would you want it to?



But, they have to worry more about other people's opinions.



Weirdly, I don't see many introvert jokes, especially not self-deprecating ones. I often see them making mean comments about extroverts, which are sometimes jokes.

Introverts are not necessarily awkward, socially anxious, or uncharismatic. It sucks when they are, but you know what sucks even worse? Having those qualities while being an extrovert. Extroverts need socializing much more than introverts do, so being an extrovert with social anxiety is like being being afraid of food.

The need to "recharge" and spend weekends alone isn't a laughing matter, because it's just a normal ho-hum unfunny fact. Sometimes it's a little inconvenient, but there's nothing sad about it, but it's not funny either. (And it seems way less inconvinient than needing to be with other people as much.) Someone who's funny enough could probably say it in a funny way, the same way they'd make a joke about grass being green.

If you're talking about people who are shy, socially phobic, SPCD, neurotic, whatever, talk about those people. Don't just asked like "introvert" is some all-purpose insult for anxiety problems.



I have seen extroverts complain (not joke) about the difficulty of meeting their extroversion needs. They usually don't use the word "extroversion" in the process, but they are talking about problems introverts have less difficulty with. Some common ones:
--They want to go hang out with other people, but they don't have anyone who wants to hang out with them.
--They want to go hang out with other people, but they don't have enough money to do whatever their friends want to do.
--They can see a lot of upsides to quitting their job and starting a home business, but spending that much time alone would make them lonely and sad.
--They can see a lot of upsides to quitting their job and being a stay-at-home parent, but spending that much time with no one except the baby would make them lonely and sad.
--People who lose their job become lonely because they are depending on their co-workers for companionship.
--They want to talk to their friend in class, but they get in trouble when they teacher catches them.



Many of those jokes are self-deprecating (assuming they were written by introverts), but a lot of them seem pro-introvert.



Rarity might depend on where you draw the line. Introversion-versus-extroversion is kind of a spectrum. Most people aren't right in the middle, but most people aren't on either end.

I also thought about acceptance when I read this thread.

I appreciate people that don't expect me to be "on" all the time.
Even when I'm on stage, I'm nervous though audience members and even friends say they don't see it. My wife has a test, the colder my hands the more nervous I am/was.

Do you think people try to change intros or extroverts to something they aren't?

I guess it depends on how the personalities and mindsets of parents , whether both parents have the same or different personalities , and whether they hold the same mindsets and also whether their children have the same personalities as either one of the parents or both the parents because it is a different situation for me. But for me, not in my case. Sorry if I offended you. I guess I am not happy with my personality.When I was schooling , all my teachers wrote that I was a quiet student in my school report card and I cant stand it , they could write about other things. I guess certain introverts might feel that they have to change their personality so that they would not be bullied, they changed people mindsets so that they would not be looked down upon. Kind of ironic ,extroverts are more focused on the external world and not themselves but they worry more about their inner problems and issues. I thought it is other way round because I worry more about my inner problems and issues. I should have been more specific in my views. Helps if introverts could be more positive -thinking, accept themselves for what it is, and be more/little proactive to initiate activities but extroverts also must respect their views unless introverts are willing to initiate them , not forcing them to initiate activities and introverts must have friends who are understanding