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UncannyDanny
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13 Jan 2016, 9:10 pm

Hi, I just wanted to ask because it's been weighing on my mind for a while and I have some doubts about it. Even though I'm 25, I still don't get what being an adult is about. Well, I mean I do know that taking responsibilities and being wise is what makes you an adult, but I don't think many people I know of see it that way. Whenever I feel like I wanted to say that I want to be treated like an adult, some people might pressure me to do some things that I don't want to do, like smoking, drinking, porn, and other gross or unmoral things that they do just because they're "adult stuff". And whenever I refuse, They'd tell me to butt out and say, "Then you're not an adult!". It really upsets me when people say things like that to me, and, believe me, it did happen to me a few times before.

So let me ask: What is your definition of being an adult?



kraftiekortie
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13 Jan 2016, 9:22 pm

To me, the "ideal" adult would:

1. Be able to support his/her self
2. Know how to treat people the way he/she wants to be treated
3. Steadfastly hold on to your beliefs--but don't scorn other beliefs. Understand that every person has different beliefs...and they might, or might not, be in harmony with yours.
4. Be able to debate amicably, knowing that the "belief" is not necessarily the "person" (the vast majority of the time).
5. Not let other people influence your choices in life. Knowing certain choices are really the "wrong" choices. Not giving in to peer pressure.
6. Have a sense that one is an individual--but one is also part of a collective at times.
7. Want to aid somebody in need--such as when a person faints in the street.



Ishi2
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13 Jan 2016, 9:41 pm

    1. Being able to stand up for what is right.
    2. Being able to put others' needs before your own at times.
    3. Lastly and most importantly (to me), realizing that being an adult ISN'T all about responsibility and also that you're never too old to have some fun.


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Last edited by Ishi2 on 13 Jan 2016, 10:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

old_comedywriter
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13 Jan 2016, 10:00 pm

UncannyDanny wrote:
Hi, I just wanted to ask because it's been weighing on my mind for a while and I have some doubts about it. Even though I'm 25, I still don't get what being an adult is about. Well, I mean I do know that taking responsibilities and being wise is what makes you an adult, but I don't think many people I know of see it that way. Whenever I feel like I wanted to say that I want to be treated like an adult, some people might pressure me to do some things that I don't want to do, like smoking, drinking, porn, and other gross or unmoral things that they do just because they're "adult stuff". And whenever I refuse, They'd tell me to butt out and say, "Then you're not an adult!". It really upsets me when people say things like that to me, and, believe me, it did happen to me a few times before.

So let me ask: What is your definition of being an adult?

It means all you kids can GET OFF MY LAWN!


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flinttranslator
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14 Jan 2016, 3:28 am

Being an adult for me, is being responsible for his actions. Someone who is able to adapt to changes with ease no matter how difficult the situation therein.



Joe90
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14 Jan 2016, 10:08 am

The good thing about being an adult is I can date my boyfriend, who is 20 years older than me.

What I hate most about being an adult is my uncle always bringing up my age in nearly every conversation. For example, ''if you can't move that big cabinet all by yourself, ask Joe90 to help you, she's an adult so is strong enough..'' or, ''why do you like getting up early? It's not like Joe90's a kid any more..'' - even though my mum does not get up early because of me, she gets up early because she's an early morning person, nothing to do with me.

Sorry, a bit of an off-topic rant there, but my uncle is so weird how he gets a little erratic, obsessed even, about how old I am and what I can and cannot be doing - and it's not like I've ever said ''oh I can't do anything, I'm incapable, and I want to be a baby.'' I lead a very busy life now, and I take full responsibilities of my life choices. But my mum is still my best friend, and so I will still go to her to ask for advice or just talk about stuff or even ask for support, etc. Nothing wrong in that. Jeez.


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TheAP
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14 Jan 2016, 10:24 am

I don't think smoking and drinking makes you an adult. In fact, I think partying all the time is immature behavior. Maturity, in part, is making good choices and being who you are despite pressure from others.



helloarchy
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14 Jan 2016, 12:35 pm

Krafti and Ishi2 pretty much nailed it IMO.

I live by this simple mantra since considering myself an adult:

"I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.", taken from Invictus by William Ernest Henley

Which to me, when life isn't going well, I think to myself "get your s**t together". Because in those moments, I'm not controlling myself or my life around me, I'm not the captain of my soul, or the master of my fate. So when I look at someone who is on top of their game, I think damn, they've got their s**t together. They are an adult, and they are the masters of their fate.



Jo_B1_Kenobi
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14 Jan 2016, 3:08 pm

UncannyDanny wrote:
Hi, I just wanted to ask because it's been weighing on my mind for a while and I have some doubts about it. Even though I'm 25, I still don't get what being an adult is about. Well, I mean I do know that taking responsibilities and being wise is what makes you an adult, but I don't think many people I know of see it that way. Whenever I feel like I wanted to say that I want to be treated like an adult, some people might pressure me to do some things that I don't want to do, like smoking, drinking, porn, and other gross or unmoral things that they do just because they're "adult stuff". And whenever I refuse, They'd tell me to butt out and say, "Then you're not an adult!". It really upsets me when people say things like that to me, and, believe me, it did happen to me a few times before.

So let me ask: What is your definition of being an adult?


For me the most fundamental thing about being an adult is having responsibility - being morally, legally and actively responsible for myself, my behaviour, and to the extent that I'm able, responsible to the people around me. It has nothing to do with drinking, smoking, porn or other immoral things. I'm definitely an adult but I don't drink or smoke or take drugs or look at porn or any of that stuff. I don't think the people saying these things to you have really thought adulthood through very well.


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the_phoenix
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14 Jan 2016, 9:04 pm

I'm an adult.

1) Smoking does not appeal to me in the slightest and is bad for your health. I don't smoke.

2) Drinking is something I will do once in awhile, but only in moderation. For instance, one glass of wine at dinner.

3) Porn is evil.

4) Other gross or unmoral things are not worth my time. I have better things to do.

And if anyone else has a problem with that,
it's their problem, not mine.



kraftiekortie
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14 Jan 2016, 9:47 pm

Smoking, drinking, porn, etc, are not "adult" things.

They are "escapist" things--sometimes used to escape the responsibilities of adulthood--especially when done excessively.

You don't have to drink, smoke, look at porn, or even have sex to be an adult.

As Helio stated.....being an adult is being the "Captain of yourself."



EliteGirl
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18 Jan 2016, 8:11 am

the_phoenix wrote:
I'm an adult.

1) Smoking does not appeal to me in the slightest and is bad for your health. I don't smoke.

2) Drinking is something I will do once in awhile, but only in moderation. For instance, one glass of wine at dinner.

3) Porn is evil.

4) Other gross or unmoral things are not worth my time. I have better things to do.

And if anyone else has a problem with that,
it's their problem, not mine.


Porn is NOT evil, but it can be gross. But I don't mind shirtless guys in pants, shorts or boxers. I agree with you about smoking. I used to drink, but I stopped due to the medication I'm on. I'd rather be stable and not drink than drink and not be stable. That's how I look at it. And I'm an adult. I disagree about partying, there's nothing wrong with partying sometimes, but too much isn't good.

Being an adult for me means facing hardships and difficulties, sometimes family understanding and sometimes not. And learning how to date like a neurotypical person does.I know this isn't an answer people are thinking of. But that's what I think of when I think of being adult.



CockneyRebel
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18 Jan 2016, 9:50 am

Putting peoples needs before your own.
Helping people out.
Being part of a team at work.
Being honest with yourself.
Being able to support yourself.


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em_tsuj
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20 Jan 2016, 8:54 pm

It means taking responsibility for yourself.
It means knowing and accepting who you are (not modeling yourself after what society says an adult should be).
It means trying to contribute to the world around you (family, friends, community, whatever).

In my opinion, being obsessed with "adult" things like smoking, drinking, using drugs, partying, sexual conquests is a sign of not yet being an adult. Adolescents are obsessed with this type of stuff. Older people, not so much. Most adults define themselves by the things they contribute to society (whether it be friends, work, family, partner, children, organizations). If they do "adult" stuff, it is just an activity that they do, not THE THING that defines who they are.



Jacoby
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20 Jan 2016, 11:45 pm

To me it has always meant being independent, having a family, job, car, house, white picket fence, that sort of thing.



Scorpius14
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21 Jan 2016, 6:13 pm

No net to fall back on for support like I did as a child.
Expected to think like everyone else (normal people).
Expected to think rationally, budget well, understanding taxes, finance, business.

I was never told how to do things as a child, everyone always expected me to do things like everyone else and expect me to know what to do in unusual and unexpected situations. One cannot simply learn from mistakes they don't understand, such as common courtesy, affirmation, empathy, things that an undeveloped mind or rather a brain with a developmental delay such as my own have to deal with on a day-to-day basis.

It means I have to deal with most if not all complex decisions to get on in life as an adult, I don't get the support I used to get as a child. They (as in government and the people who misunderstand autism) have abolished all known support for adults, they think it is only present in children, which further increases their ignorance of the condition and that it is lifelong and cannot be cured.

Think about all these sci-fi tv shows about superheroes or people with powers, only a handful of them in the world, and everyone who doesn't have them are either afraid or jealous and are always persecuted for what they can do, what impact they make on the world - good or bad. We are sort of the same in the way, but take away the powers, although some (savants) have unusual abilities in specialist areas like memory, music, or some sixth sense and there are those who have a range of debilitating physical ailments that come with it ranging from severe to mild, which is why its among a spectrum, no one is the same.