Telling people what they want to hear

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Have people ever remarked to you that they think you're just trying to please them? Or when you state an opinion, they say something like, "Don't just say that because you think that's what I want to hear.....tell me what you really think!"

Today I was talking to my Dad over dinner and simply agreed with him that I like the casserole that we were eating. He said "Really??? Or are you just saying that?"

MANY people have remarked that they thought I wasn't really stating my opinion (or whatever it was), that I was just trying to please ...

Does this ever happen to you?

It is VERY unnerving Apparently I do come off as a people-pleaser or something, without a real opinion

Ha, no, I tell everyone what they don't want to hear. I'm sure I'd be much better liked if I wouldn't tell people what I actually think.

Why do people associate honesty with negative thoughts?

It might be true sometimes that an honest thought is a negative thought....but definitely not all the time.

I can honestly say, for example, that I admire you for studying Mandarin. No bullcrap there!

I think you want to get out of the quicksand life that you're leading. Hopefully, we at WP could provide the impetus for you to start your new life journey.

Thank you

People take offense at my honesty. Actually, now that I think of it, I think they sometimes disbelieve my compliments.

Most people aren't honest all the time. They are playing the social game. So they take offense to honest statements such as:

1. Being honest about one's talents and accomplishments (without bragging)

2. Telling people what they don't want to hear, even though it's true.

3. Giving honest advice.

Since many people are insincere much of the time, they tend to disbelieve honest compliments. Many NTs hand out meaningless compliments like candy. Compliments that are exaggerations or untrue are not useful in any way, in my opinion.

If I compliment someone, I mean it. And I tend to do so freely.

I always assume that if people say anything positive about me it's either as a hilarious joke (at my expense) or simply telling me what I want to hear. I've never had anybody accuse me of telling them what they want to hear.