Social Anxiety

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I hate that my body won't co-operate with how I want to be. I want to be confident and just talk to whoever I want without feeling anxious. I don't want to blush, I don't want heart palpitations, I don't want to get sweaty and I want to be able to think of things to say to people.

Sometimes I think that life would be so much easier if I didn't care, but I do.

How do you cope with anxiety?

I try to face it head-on to help reduce future anxiety.

Examples would included my 3 month (solo) trip to India as well as my couple year stint with pick-up (pua) / social dynamics. These were both before I knew about / understood ASD.

I still have a lot of anxiety, but it helps to know from your personal experiences that the outcome most likely won't be, that, bad & there is that chance it will be awesome. In fact, it seems to go surprisingly well sometimes.

I deal with my anxiety by taking Buspar which is the only med specially for anxiety & not a benzodiazepine but betablockers can help with blushing, heart palpitations & getting sweaty in addition to anxiety.

Is that a personal or clinical question?

Medication if it’s extreme. The objective is to get down to a manageable level where other tools can be utilized. My therapist has me using the 4-7-8 breath technique right now. A good portion of my anxiety comes from thoughts so after I calm down somewhat I work on changing them identifying cognitive distortions and making a more accurate replacement. Then comes exposure therapy. I go to a group every Wednesday offered by my local mental health clinic. It works well for exposure because everyone does it at their own pace there are no rules you can come or go as you desire and you can do absolutely nothing if you wish but sit. This results in gradual progression. For example the first step in exposure is to be comfortable around people not talking to them not acknowledging them or interacting but just standing near somebody for an extended period of a few minutes. It depends upon why being next to someone would prompt anxiety but the idea is to get the subject to acknowledge that they are safe, ok, and that there are no threats in the said anxiety provoking action. So that you don’t feel anxiety from it and can move onto the next step like listening to them then asking questions etc.

How have your attempts at exposure gone?

I usually have a load of issues with my anxiety, especially socialising with others. I cope with it by not letting certain things effect me, but it does not always work out well, and i get really stressed.

I think the anxiety is much easier to deal if you don't fuel it with self-hate and unrealistic expectations.

Does exposure help much for social anxiety?

I tend to avoid people way too much, and I think it's making my anxiety worse over time actually. It's at the point were I feel totally unable to socialize because I feel so shy. I started making an effort to go out in public by myself more, but it didn't last long... I wonder if I should try more though, just to get more used to being around people?

Yes but it has to be done right, such as with CBT.

I found this book helpful

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Soci ... 849010005/

Mainly becuase Gillian Butler wrote in such a way that it was adaptable to different people, as there are many reason for SA.

It also helps for some people to take anxiety medication. Some take antidepressants &/or Buspar(which is specially for anxiety & not a benzo) to help with anxiety in general & some may take a benzodiazepine or a betablocker when they go out to help with their anxiety. The ladder two can be taken as needed & can be taken with other meds & with each other.

I was on sertraline hydrocloride also known as zoloft or lustral. Didn't help me one bit.

I still get some social anxiety, but nowhere near as bad it was. There are lot of things that can done.

I used to do meet off a social anxiety website. I met my two friends from it. Things can get get better. It take time though, years normally.

I know how debilitating it can be.

I'm not against meds, simply don't think they are the be an end all. Also you might as well try other things whist you are taking them. You don't know how effective they will be in the future.

For the longest time I would use alcohol to cut my social anxiety especially when meeting new people in a evening setting. After a while I realized this was a bad approach. What I do now is when I feel my anxiety is climbing I go to the bathroom and wash my face and take some deep breaths, helps a lot for me.

Breathing wise I would take short and small intake through the nose, and long unforced out breaths through a small gap in the mouth.

To give you an idea of the rhythm, consider a point moving along a sign wave:

1. Quarter cycle breath in. Don't breath in too much as you can just a small amount.
2. Quarter cycle pause, try to do this in an unstrained way and don't purse the lip or even close just don't breathe out.
3. Half cycle breathing out a small gap in the mouth, don't be too force full keep it it slow.

The deep breath idea is traditional, but there no reason to assume it is better, there was a study that found deep breath wasn't any better then short breath in is more the speed and volume that matters. It is ok to breath from you belly. Your diaphragm is used anyway, but it means you your belly is not tight an constrained as if you didn't move it.

If you have a tendency to hyperventilate during panic attacks, you want o breath less an slow down you breathing. I used to treat lockjaw like a good thing once I educated myself.

I have a friend on the sepctrum and when he melts down his breathing can be fast. One of the things that helps is putting his hand in front of his mouth so he can feel his breath. I think that is a really cool idea, as not only doe sit help regulate the breathing, it is also a sensation that takes you mind of what you are thinking.

Found this on buzzfeed

http://www.buzzfeed.com/emmacooke24/how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people#.wqQkLj7DR

Think of a happy place when you are feeling stressed in a new situation... I can't think of a happy place :\

I find it very difficult to make eye contact and to think of what to say to others. I used to drink alcohol often to be more outgoing but now I'm taking buspar.

I had too until I took abilify im on 20 mg. its not for social anxiety, but it helped with it its actually an antipsychotic