Lifelong social anxiety - unsure if diagnosis is correct

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Hello all, I'm new here so not sure where to start. Anyway, I've just returned home from a work do (at a fairly quiet restaurant) and feel I can't relax, like I have this nervous energy, thoughts keep going through my mind, mainly that people think I behave weirdly in general (that I'm too quiet, smile/laugh too much and at inappropriate things/moments), that I say things that other people wouldn't say - I have no evidence to prove my suspicions, but sometimes I catch people looking at each other with a look that says 'she's weird' or they become quiet in my presence. I have been experiencing this 'social turmoil' my whole life, despite being in social situations a lot (it's as if I can never truly learn social skills that others pick up so easily). I also feel frequently lonely, but once I'm around others, I want to be alone, as I find the situation very taxing and overwhelming. I just feel lost in the world most of the time, to put it simply.

My nephew (will be 3 in August) was recently diagnosed with High Functioning Autism and my sister is convinced there's so much similarity in behaviour compared to how he is and how I was as a child/growing up (I would always prefer to be alone/have meltdowns/extreme tantrums/poor spatial awareness around friends, have always found eye contact very unnatural). I'm 35, have never been in full-time, permanent employment (until very recently - and I still feel I'm struggling with being around others), have special interests (health/learning about medical terms), love learning facts, but none of the Psychiatrists/Psychologists I have seen have mentioned Autism/Aspergers.

Diagnosis: Lifelong generalised anxiety disorder/social anxiety/depression

It does sound to me like you might have autism, but I'm not a professional, and even if I was, I couldn't just diagnose someone over the internet. My advice would be to talk to your psychologist about autism, and ask to get tested for it.

I'm not a doctor...but

What you describe is very much how I felt through my life, I was frequently in and out of the mental health team from 25-39 and sailed past a few psychologists who picked up on the signs but misconnected the dots.
It was due to my social anxiety and clinical depression that I found my way to the Autism team.

I really think you should pursue an appointment with the Autism team.

The first paragraph describes textbook social anxiety, as somebody who had it and still do but not as bad.

Whether are on the spectrum or not I don't know, but social anxiety can affect anyone. They are not mutually exclusive, and it doesn't mean you can't do anything about you social anxiety.

Thanks for replying. I forgot to mention I have had many years of different types therapies (anxiety management, psychotherapy, music therapy, drama therapy, CBT). I have found them helpful to an extent, but most therapists have actually mentioned that they thought I would benefit more from them. Just wondering if certain therapies have helped anyone?

If you are on he spectrum, it can influence learned behaviors, and experiences. So the reasons why are relevant, it needs to be adapted for you.

I did psychotherapy, CBT, mindfulness, bio/neuro-therapy.

What I would say that is you are hyper-analytical then the "rationalising" form of CBT may be counter productive. As you will not stop analysing, as there is always more levels of deduction. I recommend more interruption techniques.

It is is about recognising the negative thought pattern, disrupting it. You will yourself going back to it, even without realising. So you need to keep recognising and disrupting, again and again.

I would use noise or nonsense for disruption. If you use well formed thoughts, this will not work becuase your brain will find a way of linking it back. You actually want to reduce the overall stream of thoughts, as this is endemic of the neurosis.