Am I the only who disapproves of this idea?

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Jamesy
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20 Mar 2016, 3:42 pm

Am I the only one who passionately disapproves the idea of sharing a house/flat with other people :evil:



slenkar
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20 Mar 2016, 6:58 pm

I used to be horrified at the idea but now I think it's practical



Edenthiel
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20 Mar 2016, 7:07 pm

I've always understood the practicality of it, but loath the idea and experience. I found that I really need my isolation and quiet time to decompress/decompose after dealing with too much socializing. That pretty much ended when we had kids, but as the entire family may be on the spectrum (or at least share the most pertinent symptoms) we've been able to structure our home life around it.


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Malaise
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21 Mar 2016, 1:29 am

Unpleasant, but practical yeah. If I had to I'd do it but I really prefer my space all to myself, to do with as I please.



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21 Mar 2016, 2:14 am

I never wanted to do it so I never had. I only lived with boyfriends.


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Pileo
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21 Mar 2016, 2:16 am

Why do you disapprove? I get it in can be uncomfortable, especially for us, but it's extremely practical.



Joe90
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21 Mar 2016, 5:53 am

I'm looking forward to moving into my partner's flat when as soon as I can get a job nearby.

Only thing is his grown-up daughter is practically homeless at the moment, so she's going to lodge at his flat until she can find a new home. I stay at my boyfriend's every weekend and one night in the week, and I prefer it just the two of us. His daughter does work a lot though, and I do like her and she likes me, so it should be fine.

Anyway, I can't say no, because she's his daughter and it's his flat. I suppose that's what happens when you date someone with children from a previous marriage, even if they're grown-up, you have to accept them.


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kraftiekortie
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21 Mar 2016, 8:24 am

I'm forced to share my living space with someone--by virtue of being married to her.

At this point, I don't like this situation.



Summer_Twilight
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21 Mar 2016, 8:46 am

Jamesy wrote:
Am I the only one who passionately disapproves the idea of sharing a house/flat with other people :evil:


No you aren't. I tried it before and quickly discovered that it wasn't my thing. With my quirks and issues picking up what my housemates expected of me because I was an adult only to have them grow frustrated with me was more than enough evidence.



tatals
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21 Mar 2016, 9:29 am

It's indeed very practical. But I had terrible experiences. The only person I've found I'm ok with sharing my space is my mom, because she's also very private and understands I need to be alone most of the time.



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21 Mar 2016, 12:30 pm

Out of necessity, I have lived in shared accommodation for roughly half my adult life. I rent a place of my own now, and I would be very reluctant to go back to sharing, for pretty much the same reasons that other posters have mentioned.

I have to be fair and say that, on the whole, I have been fortunate to share with people who have been understanding of my introversion (not my autism, as this was not known back then). However, there were issues that caused a lot of tension in both directions.

I always found it incredibly difficult to deal with strangers around the house, so used to get very freaked out if a house mate had friends over or threw a party. I would lock myself in my room, sometimes even with a container to pee into so that I didn't even have to open my door to go to the bathroom. And even just the general noise of house mates doing perfectly normal things around the house caused me a lot of anxiety, as noise is my most typical sensory trigger for melt-downs (which fortunately were not too often).

OTOH, I do recognise that I could be a complete PITA for my house mates to live with too. I found sharing the financial responsibilities much more difficult than dealing just with my own. My standards for tidiness around the home are very poor, leading to arguments over the chores. I have never liked eating communally, which made me seem anti-social. And my occasional melt-downs could be extremely frightening and disturbing to people who were totally unused to dealing with them (and inexplicable to them due to my lack of a diagnosis).

If I had to do it again out of necessity, I would - and I think I'd probably cope a little better with it now that I'm older and know my diagnosis. But I would never choose to do it, not even with a romantic partner, I don't think.


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Yigeren
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21 Mar 2016, 12:37 pm

I have never gotten the chance to live alone. I think I would be fine living with another like myself. Someone who likes order, cleanliness, respects my space, doesn't touch my things, cleans up after him/herself, doesn't make a lot of noise or invite people over often.



0_equals_true
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21 Mar 2016, 2:09 pm

Nope. I live alone for this reason. :)



Jamesy
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23 Mar 2016, 12:16 pm

Pileo wrote:
Why do you disapprove? I get it in can be uncomfortable, especially for us, but it's extremely practical.


Well wouldn't it be obvious....... :roll:
People throwing house parties at night
Having to do loads of house chores
People stealing your food
Having to balance a job with living with other people
Living with people who might not be very nice



Of course I don't dissaprove of living with a partner



tatals
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23 Mar 2016, 9:15 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Pileo wrote:
Why do you disapprove? I get it in can be uncomfortable, especially for us, but it's extremely practical.


Well wouldn't it be obvious....... :roll:
People throwing house parties at night
Having to do loads of house chores
People stealing your food
Having to balance a job with living with other people
Living with people who might not be very nice



Of course I don't dissaprove of living with a partner


I've checked every item on your list. I had roommates who loved to throw parties at home, who would get home after midnight bringing friends. Also, house chores were a problem, because they (the roommates) would frequently break my routine, and so I would always get frustrated. And sometimes I got home from university and couldn't find any food because someone had eaten it all.

The first roommate I had was a disaster. We were incompatible. We had been friends before, but living together ruined it. The second one was a psychologist, and she was very nice. She was actually the only one I got along with. She was very organized, had fixed routines and didn't throw parties. The others after her turned out to be bad, just like the first one. At this point, I didn't care anymore. I just wanted someone to share my bills with, and I spent my time in my room. I'm pretty certain many of them thought I was a weirdo because I liked to be alone. Oh, well.

I'm not saying I wouldn't do it again - we never know if we might need it -, but I'd certainly try to avoid it as much as I can.



Jamesy
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24 Mar 2016, 7:56 am

tatals wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Pileo wrote:
Why do you disapprove? I get it in can be uncomfortable, especially for us, but it's extremely practical.


Well wouldn't it be obvious....... :roll:
People throwing house parties at night
Having to do loads of house chores
People stealing your food
Having to balance a job with living with other people
Living with people who might not be very nice



Of course I don't dissaprove of living with a partner


I've checked every item on your list. I had roommates who loved to throw parties at home, who would get home after midnight bringing friends. Also, house chores were a problem, because they (the roommates) would frequently break my routine, and so I would always get frustrated. And sometimes I got home from university and couldn't find any food because someone had eaten it all.

The first roommate I had was a disaster. We were incompatible. We had been friends before, but living together ruined it. The second one was a psychologist, and she was very nice. She was actually the only one I got along with. She was very organized, had fixed routines and didn't throw parties. The others after her turned out to be bad, just like the first one. At this point, I didn't care anymore. I just wanted someone to share my bills with, and I spent my time in my room. I'm pretty certain many of them thought I was a weirdo because I liked to be alone. Oh, well.

I'm not saying I wouldn't do it again - we never know if we might need it -, but I'd certainly try to avoid it as much as I can.




I am talking about living in a house with people not a university as such