Inside Jokes

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I don't understand why people like to flaunt around jokes that only them and their friends understand. What do you expect me to say? Clearly I don't know what you're talking about, so leave me out of it.
It annoys me beyond belief, especially when they avoid explaining anything to me.

That has happened to me many times, too. And it is annoying!
But I've also been part of inside jokes that were expressed publicly when no explanation could be given.
I have felt bad doing that because I know how annoying it is, but the thing about jokes and anything funny is timing.
A lot of times those inside joke situations are not predictable, so it's not exactly preventable.
It's kind of liking hitting your funny bone.
You don't do it on purpose.

This reminds me of something irritating that my generation (Gen X) does. When you're talking to someone, they will drop TV, movie, and music references from our specific generation and wait to see if you "get it." Like a test of your coolness.

I can always be certain when talking to someone in their late 30s to 40s that Star Wars will be mentioned, and Marty McFly, and something else where they have the special edition box set with director commentary.

If it is purposeful *in order to exclude someone*, yes it is irritating.
Most of the time, I am not irritated because I understand that it is not usually meant to exclude, but to include or form a bond: forming a bond, esp. with friends in regard to inside jokes, forming a bond with and including anyone around when it comes to cultural references.

The cultural references are difficult for me because I don't get them at all. I tell people I grew up "parallel" to popular culture. I felt outside of it. I feel timeless more than stuck with my own generation.

But I also know that is basically my problem and not the other person's. That person isn't trying to exclude me, but is trying to include anyone around him or her who understands the reference, which would be most people. What he or she is doing is not wrong or mean, usually. I might look like an oddball, but it is not the other person's fault.
I just shrug and say, "Sorry, I don't get it. I am just weird like that." If the person tries to explain it, I will just admit I don't remember it or I didn't see the movie, etc.

The other person is not usually bothered by my ignorance, esp. since I put the onus on myself for not knowing rather than communicating that they are annoying by making a reference unknown to me. Besides that, as I and all in my generation are getting older, more and more people are forgetting the references. This really is an issue that affects mainly young people. And in today's world the media choices are so vast every person could have a unique set of cultural references.

I used to hangout with a group of people with Asperger's and we always used to play video games, watch anime, read manga, watch Star Wars, play D&D, Magic The Gathering, Warhammer and a million other nerdy things. It was a great time in my life and I miss those days BUT they would always have these inside jokes that drove me nuts. During the times when I was hanging out with them more, I understood the jokes because I was "on the inside" but sometimes I would get stuck working and couldn't hang out for a month or so and next time I met up with them, I was suddenly "on the outside" of whatever stupid new inside jokes they came up with lol.

The group on average was made up of about 7 people including me, but over the years, these friends of mine began to suddenly become more social and the group got bigger and bigger...to the point where I just felt more uncomfortable. Although most of the new faces joining our old group were friendly, I was really busy with college and work at the time, so I wouldn't be able to meet up with them as often and when I did, it was awkward. I felt comfortable with my older friends from the group, but it was really difficult socializing with the new group members because I just didn't have much time to get to know them and I didn't grow up with them...so they just felt like strangers no matter what.