Possibly Complicated Friend Problem/Situation.

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Butterfly
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22 Apr 2007, 12:05 pm

Hi, I'm new to the forum. I joined mainly because my councellor said I should research Asperger's on the Internet and I found this website, and have finally gotten around to joining. I'm going to have an official diagnosis soon (hopefully) but my parents, councellor and myself are all pretty much sure that I do have Asperger's.
OK, so onto the friend situation. I currently attend secondary school and am very much different to everyone else who attends it. I have a dislike for many of the other people in my school, due to various factors that are mostly down to them, and thus, people who I have an opportunity to be friends with are few in number. I have found two people who fall into the category of "Possible Friends," but due to circumstances (Differing halves of the school year group being the main one,) I never have had a long enough encounter to get to know them properly, but I am sure that I want to be friends with them. I understand that this is compapable to judgeing a book by it's cover, but I personally have assured myself that I want to be friends with them. My councellor has bought up the idea of interacting with them outside of the school system, which I enjoy entertaining the idea of but cannot imagine myself giving an invitation to in a million years, and thus am considering outside influence on the situation (i.e. letting my parents arrange the situation for me.) I would like to have some feedback on this situation, giving suggestions, opinions etc.
Also, I am unsure if I should explain my differences/Asperger's to them to some degree, to prevent any awkward questions being asked. Again, I would like some feedback on this subject. Thanks.



sinsboldly
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22 Apr 2007, 12:46 pm

Welcome to WP.

I have found if you think about something too long, you can complicate it so much it seems like a lot to deal with. I take a tip from the neurotypicals and just talk to people I like and they talk to me and before you know it, you're friends.

Merle



larsenjw92286
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22 Apr 2007, 2:31 pm

Welcome!

I hope things improve for you!


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foxman
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22 Apr 2007, 3:32 pm

First of all, hi!

Second, when I really want to meet people, usually the best thing for me to do is convince my brain that I'm not terrified and that in fanct, I am very calm and graceful in social interactions...and then I dive right in.

To be perfectly honest, this only sometimes works, and it's better for group sort of things (running meetings, teaching classes, etc.) But I did manage once to ask a gorgeous guy I had just met out to dinner! (Big victory story for me^.^) So it might be worth a try.



superunknown
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23 Apr 2007, 1:05 pm

sinsboldly wrote:
Welcome to WP.

I have found if you think about something too long, you can complicate it so much it seems like a lot to deal with. I take a tip from the neurotypicals and just talk to people I like and they talk to me and before you know it, you're friends.

Merle


i cant tell you the number of times i didnt call a girl because i thought about it too much


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calandale
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24 Apr 2007, 4:00 am

Yeah. But the couple of times that I did try to take the
initiative, it didn't work out. Not sure which way to lean
here. Insanity is said to be doing the same thing and
expecting different results.



EarthCalling
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24 Apr 2007, 2:21 pm

I would not involve your parents, and I don't think I would tell them about your AS either.

I would suggest slipping them a note sometime, with your phone number, or IM info, or even email addy, and put the ball in there court. maybe make up an excuse to send them such a "note", I am sure you will think of something...

If it does not work out, don't take it to hard. HS is a brutal place. you will probably do better when you are a little older, in college or even in "the real world". If it does not work out, well, you always have us! :lol:



superunknown
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24 Apr 2007, 7:59 pm

i wouldnt involve your parents
that will make you look really weird to them
i wouldnt tell them about the AS right away wait till you get to know them a bit
so it doesnt seem like your making excuses for anything


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