Is a friend who is like family closer then a best friend?

Post Reply New Topic

As the title suggests. Is a friend who is like family closer then any best friend. I will elaborate.

Basically it all began 3 years ago, when i joined Startrek.com, this was long before I had heard of WP so i needed somewhere i could belong, once i joined i sent a reuqest out asking if anyone would like to be my friend. One girl responded to me. I live in South West England and she lives in East England. So it was a long distance relationship, i guess at the time I was not too bothered and I was half expecting it to just fade away, it turns out I was quite wrong.

I would not class her as NT, as shes nothing like that, although she does not have AS. I began to realise she was very understanding, open minded, ready to embrace different people and what they were like. I told her i had AS and she totally understood and accepted it, she even introduced me to another Aspie who has become very close I woudl al;ways be there for her, chatting in the evening became a regular thing, she was always sad about the way others treated her and that shes had a lot of personal issues, i never moan about her sadness, i was always there for her, i always supported her, gave advice and comfort, but i always respected her opinion and let her do what she wanted. I thought we could have gotten into a relationship at one point, but she rejected me. I had saddened as most guys she met always left her after trying to get her itno bed and failing.

We first met in october when she came down to see me. And in 30 months she had become so familiar and trustworthy i could simply talk to her like it was natural. We had always commented on what good friends we both were. Although i was sad she never wanted a relationship. then she said this line:
"I love you like a brother."

After that, it was like a light clicked on. I suddenly calmed down. I realised why she did not want a relationship, because i had always been there for her, never shouted or got annoyed with her. Because i was always a prescence and a supporter as well as a friend, she did not want to lose me, or risk a relationship in case we fell out. We had been two very consistant friends to each other. She began refering to me as Big Bro, and i began to call her Lil Sis, as i now understood. And it seems our relationship has evoloved beyond friends, as we are now like family, and i can't say any other friend is worthy of that, as i don't really know anyone else so accepting and understanding. It's like we can read each others minds. I've known her 3 years, and my respect and caring of her grows, shes still more like my sis. If i ever had kids, she would be the Godmother. to her, im not just an Aspie, not just a brother. Im a human being who has every right to his opinion. and i can say what i like and shes always smiling.

I am sorry to be dribbling on and on about this , but im now taken back to my first point, if a friendship becomes like a familiy one, are they therefore close to you as you can get, and beyond friendship, beyond best friends, beyond any physical relationship? Like an extension of your family who means the universe to you, and who you would go out of the way to aid, and never ever lose. I would consider my friend beyond any friendhsip I have ever had, and i feel that we crossed the best friend line ages ago. But when do you cross such a line and realise your friendship has become something very special and unique?

My oldest friend sees my sister as family. He would consider it a stronger bond than best friends. However, I see my sister as a best friend and I consider that a stronger bond than family. So, there ya go. Life is funny like that.

I wonder if then that it works both ways, you see friends like family and family like friends, funny how the world spins.

As somebody who has been in that situation before, I can only say that your lil Sis is both family (a sister) and a best friend. Hard to say which would be more accurate, isn't it? But really, they're labels and they only approximate the kind of bond you guys have with each other. "Family" and "best friend" at least reflect just how strong your relationship really is, even though they may not fully describe how you feel.

The limitations of verbal communication! Sometimes what's more important is what's unsaid, rather than what is said.

Actually, that last line is very true, i once told my Lil Sis that i could not find the word to express my appreciation for her, and she came out with a line i have often quoted since.
"Somtimes, it's those unspeakable words which mean more then spoken words."

I took that as a positive sign that she knew I would always care for her and be there for her, even if i did not know what to say, but inside, the feelings are there, and she can see them. She is always overjoyed when i come to visit. And i come as much as possible because i know im going to see one of the best people in the world. She knows i have issues, but im so accustomed to her i can speak my mind. We have a very strong bond, and one which i am sure could not break. I always buy her a Mocha, and chocolate, as she loves those. I recall in a couple of pictures she posted on her myspace, my name was always in capitals