Hatred in the friend circle

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Hi there, I'm new to the forum (i've been stalking awhile, haha) and I really need to rant and get some advice.

I've always felt like my friends have hated me, and only stick around out of pity. On the weekend, several girls had birthday parties, and I wasn't invited to a single one. All of my friend circle was invited except for me. I found out when they posted about 2 billion selfies on Instagram talking about how much fun they had. Ouch. I cried it off and hoped it would be better when I went back to school. Monday was okay, a few nasty comments from some of the meaner girls in the friend circle, but I figure most groups have one or two bullies.

The real monster was Tuesday. We had a field trip to a nearby rainforest for a geography assignment. It was okay in the morning before it started, although of course I was finding it hard to keep up with everyones' conversations, but then we boarded the bus. There's an odd number of people in our grade, and lucky me, I ended up being the odd one out. I sat alone for an hour and a half drive. I tried to fall asleep, because I knew I'd cry if I didn't.
The two aforementioned bullies in the friend group started talking about me. They were right behind me, and they figured I was asleep already. They said a lot of awful things about me, called me names, said they hated me. Of course, there were plenty of people around to hear them, all of whom I thought respected me enough to at least defend me... but no-one did.

We finally arrived at the destination after 90 minutes in hell, and things weren't much better. I was one of the last off the bus, and everyone was already talking on their own, about boys or something. It seems to be all they talk about. I tried to join in but was largely ignored. For the next few hours we were examining our surroundings and taking a tour, so there wasn't much going on there. I was still distracted, though.

It came time for us to go back, and though I asked my two best friends to sit with me since I was alone last time, they both ditched me for other people with no apology at all. Again, i ended up alone, surrounded by some people who just wouldn't shut up! That rejection was the worst part of my day, I think. Those two were the people I trusted not to hate me, but now I think they might.

After school, I found them both laughing with someone who openly hated me. They were all going to get ice cream - they planned the occasion right in front of me. I walked home in tears.

I don't know what to do. My school's really small, and there's pretty much nobody else that I can make friends with. Sure, I know I'm difficult, I don't understand things they say, I offend them without meaning to at all, I find it hard to express affection... But I didn't think they hated me this much.

Middle school was hell for me too. Everybody made fun of me. I eventually found a friend during my 8th grade year. I understand what it is like to be in a small school. I hope you find yourself a good friend. You seem like a nice person.

Poor Ladybeetle! I think there are so many people here who can relate this kind of experience. Social life was hell for me until....well, until I reached a point where I could have much of my life independent of people. These people in this clique/circle - they are NOT friends to you. They aren't treating you with any of the respect or dignity that you deserve. I don't think you can turn people like that around, and to me it sounds like they really don't want you around, period

I don't know if my suggestion is any good - but to me, as awful and hard as it might be, I think it would be psychologically healthier for you to treat yourself with the respect and dignity you deserve alone. I know...that might actually be impossible there, to just be a loner - it's hard in school because everything requires some kind cooperation, even being able to sit next to somebody. But you don't have to like these people, or want to be around them at all. If possible, try not to reward their bad behavior - they don't deserve any kind of space, time or company from you based on how badly they are behaving around you.

HUGS.

Thank you both for your advice. I think I'll try to talk to my closest friends about the situation, but if that doesn't work I suppose I'll be solitary for a while.

That was really rotten of them to act like that .

Back in my day we didn't have social media like we do today. Rather I had people who were supposed to be my friends in Jr high and high school who excluded me and then come up to me afterwards in a immature light. "Guess what girl me and the gang got together and did such and such," which was constantly. They also made plans right in front of me. I finally got fed up with it and asked one of them why I was never included and it turned out that two of them didn't like me that much. A few years later another friend and I contacted one of them because I heard they really hated me and were saying about me behind my back. When we called they picked up the phone and they said Though I had one good friend who drove me to school that I still communicate with today.

The best thing to do would be to believe in yourself as well.


Take a look at this video which is about a girl who stands up to her so called friends who bullied her. The movie is called "Odd Girl Out." Watch how she confronts her.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aj4oDW43VM

Also check out a series called "Speaking Geek" by Jennifer O'toole who also has Aspergers' and one thing to note is that you have dignity and you have to choose not to let them take it away by not associating with them.

(My last posting consisted of a sentence that ran into another one about my friend the bus driver).

Another childhood friend who I went to daycare with called the person who turned out to be a bully by way of spreading ugly rumors and openly admitting that he hated me one year after high school ended. This was the same one who constantly boasted about doing this or that or made plans right in front of me.

As for those girls a few things
1. It sounds like unfriending them on instagram as well as blocking them might be wise
2. The best thing to do would be not to associate with them anymore under any circumstances because they will keep hurting you.
3. It is common for best friends to become bullies toward others with Asperger's. That same friend who helped me discover the truth about that bully was close to me for many years before we both hit puberty. After she met her first boyfriend she hated me.

Things like this happened to me in late elementary school. It does hurt when people are so mean. Middle school was OK because the school was bigger and I got to know some new kids that didn't know me previously (and thus did not know all the social baggage.) This gave me a fresh start. It is harder to get this in a very small town. Also, the afterschool clubs in middle and high school helped because I started to get to know some kids that I shared interests with. When I got to know them in those contexts, it was easier to bring those social relationships to things like field trips.

I was going through the same thing 7-8 years ago. There was an immature woman who was two years older than myself who wanted to be friends with Dean and I. She didn't want to be friends with Barb or Loretta because she thought they were both old. She also thought that Barb had a lot of problems. I was relieved when she didn't want to be friends with the rest of us anymore.