It's so overwhelming getting to know somebody new. I can feel them and think about them a lot more than they think of me, I bet. I am emailing with a new penpal and she seems like a nice person to talk to. I get the feeling she has more people to talk to but I can only handle talking to her. I wish I wasn't so limited and could handle talking to more than one person but I know how silly I get when I talk to lots of people. The anxiety is so overwhelming.
I need to talk to people though. I am sick of isolating myself and the loneliness wears me down. I don't want to put too many expectations on this. I need to lighten up and stop taking everything so seriously. I hope she becomes my friend. I don't want to tell her I have aspergers or even appear to be weird. I know I can pass for normal. Can she tell? I don't know her very well so I am going to take my time getting to know her. I need people in my life.
15 May 2016, 3:54 am
