NT girls are the worst.....

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I am a female and I deal with other people in my work daily. The only people I ever seem to have a problem with are the other females and I don't know why they behave the way they do. The chattering and princess-syndrome complaining is really obnoxious- especially among the younger ones. One of them tried to start an argument with me and I calmly resolved it by using my rationale. I was not trying to be condescending at all and really don't think I came off that way as I am very soft spoken when I speak. I am really good at being calm and cool under pressure. Well, that didn't sit well with them. So, a month later they come back at me with some other problem trying to start another fight. I too deflected that and told them if they had any problems I would look into it right away and I did. I thought the issue was over, until they come at me again with another ridiculous issue saying that they are going to talk to direct management if it is not resolved. I calmly reply that everything has been taken care of for them and resolved. I suspect they will come back at me with something else trying to cause another problem soon because they didn't like that I was correct about the previous issue. I really feel like they want to get a rise out of me and are frustrated that they cannot.

My question is- what is up with this behavior? It's absolutely ridiculous and childish. They are the same age as me, yet act as if they are 10 years younger. I almost feel sorry for NT guys for having to deal with this. I don't understand why they keep trying to rehash issues that only end up making problems for themselves in the end. My questions is particularly for the females- and for the males who have dealt with this- how do you deal with it?

This probelem is not present in all NT girls, nor is it unique to girls. I don't personally know any girls like that, but then again my sample size is limited to my sister and mom, girls I have been forced to talk to for various reasons (one of which I dated), and girls who feel inclined to talk to the misfit sitting alone in the corner at lunch. I have known a few guys to be like that though, most notably the people who picked on me when I was younger. My dad is the owner of a small business and he regularly tells stories about people who look for reasons to be mad as you have discribed, he too is annoyed by them and he is NT. From my experience what you are doing seems to be the best way to handle such people.

Yes, I've met quite a few like that. I think it's possibly a lack of attention as children. They need to get a reaction out of other people in order to feel important and validated. It's very odd behaviour and I try to avoid women who behave like spoilt children. I'll talk to them once they've grown up and can have a logical adult conversation!

Chavvy teenage girls are the worst.

Women are specifically socialized to behave like that. If you read up on feminist literature, that's what it's about.

I didn't think I was into "feminist" stuff until I was assigned a book called The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir in a class a few years ago. It made me cry at some points. And I'm not a crier. It's a giant book and I may have been the only one in class who actually read it instead of skimmed it, but I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to understand female behavior.

The feminine socialization is especially hard on autistic females. If you can imagine drilling the the most intense socialization techniques onto a segment of people who are not inclined toward it and have little defense against it, that's what's going on. It can strip away a woman's sense of personal identity, which can also cripple her natural coping techniques. It can take an autistic woman her whole life to undo the damage done by this socialization from childhood and teen years.

What you're seeing in these NT females is where the socialization has succeeded. It's a shame.

Heh! I know women my age (44) and older who act like this. Personally, I think It's an instinctual drive to continually prove themselves better than the other woman.

Why? Think about how difficult it is to find a mate these days....one who will stay with you. (Regardless of your desire to.) Women have it harder. We age quicker...get saggy, ugly and undesirable much quicker. We all know that men cannot be faithful. They have an instinctual drive to fertilize every set of ovaries they come within range of. A lot of them stray when our desirability runs out. Thats where our drive to compete for validation, affection and attention comes from. We have to prove ourselves as the alpha female to him.

It doesn't matter if you're in a relationship, or what your preference is....this is where the drive comes from. It manifests itself in these silly, catty behaviors and antics for attention-seeking behavior.

Obviously, OP you have awesome self control of this drive to the point where it doesn't exist. It's controllable and easy to overcome if you understand why it manifests.

Again, the goal isn't necessarily to get a man...we all know that. But instinctually...female competitiveness is the root cause imo.

I never understood why women focus so much energy on men. I know I'm an odd minority here, but making so much effort to impress men when you will get grey, saggy, physically undesirable and lose their interest anyway seems completely pointless.

I'd rather keep men as friends and peers and focus all my efforts on establishing an interesting career, financial stability, hobbies, health and a social network. Those things won't be affected quite so dramatically as I lose my looks in middle age.

I've been around women at school and I've worked with women for 14+ years in nursing and it's all about competition. I haven't made one real friend my age or younger - only women 15-20 yrs older. I guess anyone around my age or younger sees me as competition. The funny thing is that guys eat this crap up. There are several younger women at work that flirt a lot and these guys fall all over them - some are even married.

You want to know why women act like they do? Because men love it.

And women don't really want to be your friend - they only want you for what they can get out of you (including a Hunny if you have one), otherwise you're competition and they will bring you down.

Maybe that's why I haven't found a Hunny - I'm not into the flirting BS.