New potential friend

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Anyone who knows me knows I have like 0 friends and don't make them at all easily. Last week I met this kid at this autism society dinner, more about that another time. I knew his dad worked with autism but he and his bro and sis all seemed autistic so I just assumed they were. Well I talked to him online today (he gave me his email address...) and it turns out that hes not autistic. He is a bit weird because he is 16 in college and has like a genious level IQ.

Now I am just like really nervous communicating with him as it would be sooooo nice to have a real life friend. I am just really worried I will weird him out, which of course makes it more likely that I will weird him out. Any suggestions...?

be yourself-don't try to be someone you think you should be!!

Myself is weird and hes already told me don't be weird because of the asperger's (sorta).

There.

Huh?

then that doesn't sound like a freind if he doesn't like you for you then he's not much of a friend

Well he hasn't done that exactally... I just don't get what he has said... I saved our convo... you want to see it and just email me.

uhhh...okay

The last thing anyone needs is additional pressure on themselves to stop being who they are. I can feel myself being picked away at everytime somebody demands that of me. We already put a enough demands on ourselves and we'll never be able to live up the their expectations of 'normal'. I don't even know what that entails anymore.

If you are unsure of what he meant, if it could just be a misunderstanding, then just be yourself. If he can't handle it then you know you did the right thing rather than put yourself in a position of torment later down the road. I can also promise you not everyone is like that. Most of my friends have they're own 'quirks' but some of them are straight up NTs and they can be just as understanding.

There are a lot of people out there that don't suck. Lots and lots and lots.

What I think he means is, don't act weirder than you actually are to emphasize to strangers that you have Asperger's. It wasn't an insult or an attempt to tell you to stop acting weird. He meant it as advice, which means that he would probably be willing to be friends with you.

Don't worry. NTs say that all the time. They get it into their heads that because we aspies are smarter than LFAs, that we should be more normal, like them. You don't even have to stop acting like yourself around him. If his dad works with autistic people, than he should be used to your quirks, and if he's intelligent, he should be able to see you as a person, not a sub-ordinate.

His dad doesn't really work with autistic people actually... I am not sure how much interaction he would have with them but hes a genologist (thats a word isn't it) and studies genes of autistics, specifically those in familes with more then one. I would imagine this would require very little interaction with autistics other then getting a blood sample (or whatever) and what they choose to have.

Part of my problem I think, is that because I am so desperate for a friend I get that subordinate attitude in my mind and it is hard to shake. Its sorta like he makes me as a friend it doesn't matter that much either way, I make him as a friend and its a hugeeeeeeeeeeeeeee help, scary to be dependant of someone.

I wish I knew what to tell you, but the problem is that all of us have the same exact problem.

However, I know you shouldn't consider yourself less of a desireable friend because of your AS. And I can't imagine a person who is so different from the 'norm' having many friends, so don't think he might value you less than then you may value him. That's the problem, I suppose, with interpersonal relationships. My advice is, don't assume that you're worse off than he is, and that you're more desperate than he is. After all, you have no access to what he is thinking.

Nothing to add, I'm just agreeing with everyone else. Be yourself (or basically yourself). It's not worth trying to pretend to be someone else, just to have a "friend", because then they're not really your friend anyway.

Yet again I can't sleep. I am so lonely. While googling I found this site. Will someone please be my friend - everyone at school thinks I am odd? I am 18 as of April 1st. Yes I was born on Aprils Fool. No wonder I am odd. What kind of things do you talk about on here?

Katie - look around and see.

I posted something earlier but do not see it. Can someone help me with this site.