How do I be more soft-spoken?

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So lately I've been thinking about how I come off as hateful to other people, and I'd like to change that. I don't like thinking of myself as angry, abusive, or arrogant, but that's how others seem to perceive me. And I wonder about the people I do get along with. Do they actually like me, or are they just walking on eggshells to avoid provoking me?

I'd like to be a nicer person, but it doesn't seem to come naturally to me. I always hear people say "be yourself", but what do you do when "yourself" is a short-fused angry b***h?

IRL or online?

If IRL choose someone to emulate,someone who you feel isn't too different, but someone who does talk in a pleasing way.

Try to assume the best of people,if you are angry or suspicious because of something you suspect they are doing it will come out in your tone of voice.

Both, but probably moreso IRL. I think online isn't as much of a problem, since there's generally less of an expectation for civility.

Do you know someone who you can learn from?

Take acting and/or singing lessons.
Acting class can teach you how to portray emotions, even if you are feeling a different one, which helps a lot.
Singing lessons will teach you voice and volume control, so you can speak in any volume and pitch you like; i can shout across a table with noone else hearing, or whisper across an entire room, if i want to.
I can place extreme agression and anger in a friendly voice, if need be, or be the friendly voice of reason while i'm boiling with anger

Also bad childhood issues lead to chronic anger,which spills out in tone of voice and other behavior.

Well, not exactly, but there is this guy I know who kind of brings out the best in me. If I could spend more time around him, maybe my problems would be solved. Humans aren't meant to be alone, after all.

yeah thats how i improved, by noticing the positive results someone else was getting