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Jada
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Age: 38
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Location: Spain

21 Jun 2016, 5:41 pm

Hi!
My older sister is an Aspie and from time to time she gets those tantrums where she loses control almost completely on what comes out of her mouth and how she behaves.
She has a very warm and a loving heart but she can not bear someone who disagrees with her even if she's wrong.

Yesterday she had a big fight with her best and only friend (who is NT) they disagreed about a subject. Her friend was trying to prove her point to my sister.. To be honest she was a tiny bit irritating but absolutely not to the extent that caused my sister to totally lose her temper!
She was unstoppable! Her reaction was unbelievable! This was her worst tantrum in a long time! She said horrible things to her best friend and I'm not sure how could her friend forgive her for the way she reacted.

Now my sister is very depressed, she broke down and cried twice and she wants me to help her deal with this situation and she believes that I'm on her side, but I'm not! She was 100% wrong and faulty to her friend.

It is very critical because my sister can never take any criticism or advice from anyone because she is 31 years old and absolutely no advices from me because I'm 1 year younger than her and she knows better..
Well not this time!

I want to help her not to lose her only friend and make her realize that she totally over reacted.. I just don't know how to make her listen. How to reach to her. She has a good heart but a very stubborn head! She is also on an antidepressant medication for over a year now.

Your advices and comments will be much appreciated!!

Thank you all



kraftiekortie
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22 Jun 2016, 6:50 am

All you can do, I believe, is to find a point where she's in a good mood. Then try to discuss her temper with her. Maybe roleplay with her. Have her be your friend, and you be your sister.

If she reaches out to you, then take advantage of it.

Is she in some kind of therapy?



Summer_Twilight
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22 Jun 2016, 8:33 am

Hmm... this is a tough one but what you could do is
1. Don't scream at her or say nasty things but rather tell her 'Please go take a 5 minute break."
2. You could also just walk away and leave her alone
3.You may need to find someone whose trained to deal with her on her tantrums



NorthWind
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23 Jun 2016, 6:56 pm

If your sister is anything like mine (who was on anti depressants too, who I assume might have ASD but is not diagnosed and who tends to completely overreact and throw tantrums as well) you have to be extremely careful about how you word the things you say and talk in a calm voice. Preferably wait till she calmed down a bit if that's going to happen any time soon.
Tell her that you think she overreacted but that you also can understand why what her friend did upset/angered her and that she has a right to feel that way but that the way she reacted to it just hurts everyone involved. Be very diplomatic. Make sure you get the most important part of your message across - possibly not only about the current situation but also about how her overreacting is a recurring problem - but alter the details about how you feel about her reaction if it might help make her accept your advice more readily.