How do I survive in formal settings, especially weddings?

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I moved for work several years ago, but an old neighbor invited the family to their daughter's wedding. As a result, I was invited (I've not been invited to any weddings that weren't the result of my family being invited). My sister's boyfriend cancelled at the last minute, and so my roommate (if we have a dynamic, the closest would be "it's complicated") was also invited along.

We got there right as the wedding started so we sat in the back. At the reception afterwards, the list of awkward includes:

-My roommate pointed out that I was supposed to introduce her, so I attempted that later awkwardly.
-I didn't particularly speak with anyone there. I don't relate to most anyone there.
-We had a group photo of "those that grew up in our neighborhood", to which there's this really attractive blonde (rather young, but looks like she'll be sorority fodder). I asked "wait, who are you", even though she was formerly a next-door neighbor. Last time I had seen this girl, she was in middle school and she was now starting college. We argue for a bit, before the photo gets taken. Everyone smiles, my face is open in shock.
-The bride's older brother just recently had a child, my mom told me "tell him congrats when you get the chance." Note, I never got along with said brother. I went to say so, he said "thanks" and then ignored me. f****r.
-It took two glasses of wine to get me relaxed enough to not move about the whole event without moving with horrid stiffness. We went for a third drink at the bartender, I lunged for the open spot, my roommate says "you just attracted attention, and that other bartender is giving you a look." I approach that bartender and ask her, "she just said..." before stopping.

I have another wedding to attend in a month. While I was able to wing this one with dress shirt/tie, and slacks, this one will require a suit/tux, and will be even more formal/stiff-necked. This one is actually for a family member so ducking out is even less likely on my end. Weddings (and to a lesser extent any other super-formal setting) always put me on edge about everything I am doing, so how do I survive being dragged into them, especially without drowning out my experience in alcohol?

As one, single person, you can never possibly hope to accommodate the emotional needs of all different people, at all times.

So, you start with the rules, required by the setting.

Then, legalistically speaking, no matter what may follow, you were well within your rights.

We have laws and customs for traffic, dinner tables, money, holidays, speaking, and counting, with the understanding that these are common ground, where everyone is supposed to meet eachother, halfway.

I actually do a bit better in formal settings, because there are well established rules for things, unlike the ad lib nature of an informal gathering. It takes some preparation, but I've done some reading of etiquette books like Miss Manners or Emily Post, and it has helped. (also tells you what to do with those half-dozen forks) Weddings can be some of the most etiquette-heavy events in life, and etiquette can act like a script. I read Miss Manner's column occasionally--she's really fussy and rather stuffy, but the object of manners is so that you don't have to wonder what to do. You might also ask a friendly person to be your "etiquette whisperer"--someone you can whisper to for advice on tricky interactions or motion toward the appropriate utensil. If it's a very religious event (e.g. Catholic stand-up/sit-down/kneel), they can help explain that too. Older female relatives love coaching people on this sort of thing.

It's probably a little easier for me, being female--I have gotten through a LOT of events by nodding, smiling, and saying, "hmmm, how interesting" even though I have no idea what they're talking about. I'll try to get them to start the conversation by asking a question. Avoid politics and religion, and any mention of family scandal or bad feelings.

There are even classes in etiquette and social groups to practice in, since a lot of under-30 people missed out on the more formal upbringing that older folks got (Sit up straight! Send a thank you card! Don't laugh so loud!). Maybe your etiquette whisperer or mom could walk you through what to expect beforehand, maybe in a one-on-one rehearsal.

I agree on the two-drink limit--better to be awkward than to do something someone will resent later.