How to find like minded people who won't be weirded out.

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Hi! I was diagnosed with Aspergers in 2012,
And the diagnosis was life changing in a positive way. However, I also deal with alot of other issues, and although I generally do really well in small groups I really know, I have been struggling socially to find people with like interests and form comfortable friendships. First off I have Ehlers-Danlos syndrome in addition to Aspergers , and Mild hip dysplasia. I am in pain alot and dealing with it takes up a lot of my energy.
Second off, as an aspie, I struggle with severe social anxiety until I know a person well and warm up them. until I reach a level I feel safe being myself around people, I am always really on edge and panicky. It gets hard to breath, hard to think, and harder to move even. So as a result ,
developing friendships takes a lot of energy and effort. Plus when I try I can be very clutzy and awkward, and even moody on occasion. It's awkward, stressful and embarrassing to even attempt to make new friends , but I really want to expand my ring of friendship.

I am not friendless at this time I have several amazing people in my life I can be with without stress, but only one or two have Aspergers, and most do not share many common interests, and those who have some of the same interests, do not the same depths of interest in the same area I do.
I am not unhappy with them, in fact I would never trade our friendship for anyone or anything, but I would like to find ways to make friends with people who share a majority of my interests and understand the aspie thing, and aren't embarrassed by the issues the EDS causes.
I get a little lonely at times being with Friends in whom I have limited things In common.

Because I am a woman on the spectrum, and dealing with exhaustion in my everyday life, I am looking for mainly female friends, to spend time with in person, Because, friendships with the male counterpart is even more nerve wracking and exhausting for a single straight lady because of the hormonal aspect involved .

I am totally up to online friendships with guys with like interests , but online and friendship only is about all I can take right now until I can learn to manage certain aspects in my life better, and in small doses. ( I would like to expand on my difficulties and challenges with making friends with the opposite gender, and ask for advice but I'm not so sure this is the forum for that.)

In regards to the ladies,
I have met some really sweet people in my lifetime, however I am running into a common theme :

I have sensory problems with tv, most music and most the aspie ladies I have met can't be without it and are always talking about tv and movies . Which I can handle to point, but am not into tv as much as result of my sensory challenges.
I especially struggle with Anime to be specific, which I have moved away from entirely, because it triggers anxiety attacks due to the fact I watched it during a very stressful time in my life.
I just can't handle it anymore. Most
Music also is very physically painful to be around although I am not sure why I am so sensitive to it.

I shy away from making newfriends with people like that tbecause I hate imposing on what helps them deal with stress. What they use to manage stress absolutely debilitates me.
Another component to this is that the music I can listen to at times is all very conservative Christian music, which most people can't stand. Many people in my church do like the genre's I can occasionally handle , but trying to form and maintain friendships with nuerotypical females is both terrifying and exhausting. I don't feel like I fit In entirely or have the energy to form and maintain friendships of that nature.

When I feel up to trying to make friends and be around people ,
It's challenging to find friends because of lack of things in common, sensory processing issues and anxiety attacks, and
Constant fatigue
and chronic pain.

I am not at all against having friendships with people who are different in me, in culture, race and even Interest, but I am missing that connection and social fulfillment that comes from having people who have a majority of common interest and understand Aspergers to talk with.

Can anybody relate to what I am going through, and can anyone offer some advice on how to find people with the same interests I do, without draining myself physically and emotionally?

Because friendships are so draining to form, I don't have time to waste on getting to know people and finding out if we are compatible for friendship. I also don't feel like I could handle the excitement of of thinking I may have found some one(s) but then being disappointed if the friendship doesn't work out. I know that some of this can't be avoided when getting to know people with common interests, and that's okay,
I am not willing to try unless I have good evidence that the friendship has a good chance of forming and succeeding.

Thank so much for your time, advice, and consideration.

Peaceful wishes,
Oceanlighthouse

I've always wanted to live in an lighthouse on the sea.

Do you live near the sea?

I used to. When I lived in Brighton Beach, Brooklyn, New York City, I lived two blocks from the beach! The weather was great in summer.

I'm a married man. But I'm always looking for new friends.

I like to watch sports and documentaries on TV. But if the weather is nice, I can just sit outside, relax, and not feel like I have to have music and the TV on all the time.

I can't have more than one media at a time. I can't have the TV and a radio on at the same time, for example.

I hope you find some nice friends soon.

Hi!
I actually do not live by the sea, but wouldn't mind living next to the sea for a short time. I have always loved lighthouses, the beach, and kind of find old ships cool. ( Like the kind the pilgrims used ).
Collecting shells are an all-time favorite, as well photographing sunsets during the rare times I visit makes me feel very peaceful. I love the smell of the salty air and sounds of sea gulls and waves. Unfortunately, I am actually rather stuck in the city at this time, and seeking new residence, trying to find ways to become less dependent on my family and more self supportive which is challenging. Perhaps I may find a seaside residence somewhere briefly I may be be able to afford , ( for like a year or two), perhaps not, I don't know, but my goal is to re-locate to the country because I equally love the mountains .

What kind of documentaries do you watch?

I think it's cool you are able to be so fearlessly sociable.
Was it always like that for you?

I struggle to make friends too, but it's mostly because I'm weird and shy.

I have to admit I love movies, but I'm not really into TV or anime.

I love the ocean! I'm from the west coast in the US and visiting the California/Oregon coast is my favorite thing. I wish I lived near, unfortunately I live in a high desert.

LOL...my wife would disagree that I'm fearlessly social. She thinks I'm absolutely boorish. I don't agree

I actually only have a couple of friends I keep in touch with.

I live in New York City; there are some places there that are near the sea including, ironically, a bad area known as Far Rockaway.

I would love to live in a lighthouse and watch the waves.

I also like the mountains.

I like historical or sports documentaries the best.

Maybe try a penpal site.

If you like Christian music (i do to) you might try a small celebrate recovery meeting.
A. They are not just for recovering alcoholics and addicts.
B. They start their meetings with Praise & Worship tunes.

Small groups are usually - you guessed it - small.

How do I delete this topic on my smart phone?

Oki Doki! Thanks!