Getting attached to new friends

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One thing I've always struggled with is getting attached to new people I meet. I don't make friends often, so when I do meet people that are on my wave length and that like me, I get a bit too emotionally invested in the friendship. Because anyone I spend any length of time with is kind of my best friend by default (due to my lack of other friends), I see them that way pretty quickly, but they seldom reciprocate because most people aren't as much of a loner as me.

But I feel like this can scare people off. It's not like creepy attachment, but just, a lot of people when they meet new faces just let it develop naturally. But I tend to go one or two ways: I develop feelings for them, and it quickly turns into a massive crush which can be awkward if they're not understanding about it. (I'm bi, so this can happen with both guy and girl friends.) Or alternately, I get really paranoid about losing them to other people that might be more normal or fun to be around, and want to spend time with them quite a bit because it makes me happy to have a social life.

I've been described as a "friendship arsonist" before just because if this ever boils over it leads to them either cutting me off, drifting away from me, or me running away from the friendship. Hence me having no friends, really.

On the plus side, I have just made friends with someone new recently where this doesn't seem to be happening. I do have a crush on her, which she knows about, but it just seems really natural. Maybe it's the first time I've made a genuine good friend, I don't know.

I'm sure other people experience this, so I'm wondering how I might be able to just go with the flow on it a little bit more? I feel like a cat exhausting her nine social lives.

I completely understand. I still struggle with it, but hopefully you'll get some good advice from others.

Hopefully...

Though I typically am just fine spending time with one or two occasional friends, I've gotten strongly attached from time to time too... occasionally falling victim to emotions less accepted by society for adult males...

If possible, I think it could help to try "diffusing" your attention. If you tend not to speak until spoken to, try to say "Hi" to someone first, then try to greet someone else. If you work on a few friendly acquaintances, you can divide some of the focus that would normally be "spammed" at just one person. Then when your closer friend(s) have more room to breathe, they'll be less likely to run off and you'll have those other interactions to look forward to in the interim.

Just an idea anyway...