Page 1 of 1 [ 4 posts ] 

kdm1984
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 31 May 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 443
Location: SW MO, USA

02 Aug 2016, 8:07 pm

Hi all. I've found I'm even worse at humor than I thought.

I take a lot of humor literally at first. I understand sarcasm, and use it sometimes, but it has to be very obvious. Any subtlety whatsoever, and it almost always goes over my head.

I also don't like overuse of humor. I've noticed Western culture is big on humor, and most subjects are not taboo -- especially for men. A guy can walk into a church, preach a sermon with lots of off-color jokes, and few seem to think this is irreverent or inappropriate.

When I actually do try to be humorous, few find it funny. Not sure what I'm missing. This goes for both online and offline jokes.

Finally, when it comes to sex, I've learned there are gender differences here, too. I had some friends from a former church who were always talking about how they lust after women, and wrote about it openly in public on social media in mixed company. Since that seemed "okay" to do (socially appropriate), I made some Internet posts about lusting after guys, and having a porn addiction when I was a teen (I'm a female, and I'm attracted to the male body). But this was met with silence, except for a couple of brave women who messaged me about it privately. I have learned there are few resources for it online, either. It seems this is unusual, and/or not "okay" for women to be as open about as men are.

My humor and sex issues have alienated lots of neurotypicals. They seem to be more drawn to other people who are normal in this regard.

What to do?



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

03 Aug 2016, 7:25 am

It sounds to me like the ole "double-standard" bit you in the butt .

You sound like a woman with a healthy sexual appetite who likes manly bodies--what the heck is wrong with that?

I don't think you have "sex issues." The issues lie in the people who scorn you for having a healthy appetite for lovin'.



Earthbound
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 20 Feb 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 756
Location: USA

03 Aug 2016, 10:05 am

The humor part I can relate to. I don't think I always take sarcasm well. But at times, people are just so rude and I hate it. Then people use the whole "I was kidding" line as an excuse to cover up the rude remark. In my view- there is generally a fine line between being rude and kidding. I rarely enjoy rude comments that are either sarcasm or just sarcasm hiding the truth. This dark humor many times shows bitterness. Anyway..

As for the sex comments- I believe kraftiekortie is right. It's the double standard. Just be careful because the more you talk about sex, the more you could attract guys just looking sex and whatever.. which certainly can be trouble.

True friends will stick by you no matter what, even if you don't understand things well. Overall people need to accept others more, rather than alienate because of differences. People need to focus on the stuff you have in common, rather than differences.



kdm1984
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 31 May 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 443
Location: SW MO, USA

03 Aug 2016, 10:41 am

Thanks, folks!