Anyone have particular difficulty with social media?

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banana247
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01 Aug 2016, 6:01 pm

I've found that I'm pretty bad at social media. It gives me major anxiety.. Finding out (important) things from social media rather than being told by the person has tended to be overwhelming and meltdowns ensue. I also get depressed by feeling like others are more accomplished than me, or would feel like not getting as many likes or comments equates to social failure or a lack of friends.

Thus, I have forfeited use of Facebook and Instagram, except to use FB on occasion for personal messages or private groups related to a job. I have considerably less anxiety without Facebook and feel more comfortable about knowing who my friends are - they are the people who want to tell me stuff in real life, or the ones who I wonder about and feel compelled to ask about their lives.

I wonder if you guys have difficulty with social media as well. Overall, I do think that it's overall an unhealthy habit for a lot of people because it encourages vanity and fake fame, but I'm thinking that maybe it's also an aspie thing that I can't understand the social aspects that well and maybe I should work on it just like I work on regular social skills. I know social media is pretty important in this age and I can't help but feel I am, to an extent, isolating myself and putting myself at a social disadvantage by being absent from it.

Anyone relate or have thoughts?



the_phoenix
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01 Aug 2016, 6:17 pm

You're not alone.
There have been studies done on the general public saying that after viewing Facebook, people feel more depressed.
So it's not just an Aspie thing.
There are a lot of unhealthy things about Facebook.
It can definitely show you who your friends aren't ... when people who you thought liked you
end up ignoring your posts.

Sure I use it to some extent and find it can be useful for finding out about and planning events.
That said,
isn't it nice to know people who you can talk to and get together with ...
and it doesn't have to end up being a Facebook post, competing for likes?

You're wise to get away from Facebook.
Good for you! :)



kraftiekortie
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01 Aug 2016, 6:26 pm

I have a Facebook account---but I hardly ever use it.



LookWhoItIs
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01 Aug 2016, 9:21 pm

I always think of things to post on Facebook, but I'm afraid they won't get any likes/comments and might even offend someone so I just keep quiet. I, too, get depressed at reading other people's stuff.



banana247
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01 Aug 2016, 11:07 pm

I would theoretically expect social media to be easier for aspie folks or those with social anxiety, etc, because its not face to face... you have more time to think about what to say... it's acceptable to not respond at all if you don't have the words... and also, i thought the playing field might be more level in terms of not understanding connotation, hidden meanings, etc because everyone seems to have some trouble with that when it's just the words typed out. As a result, people use the smiley faces which make emotions very clear! But alas, it's not really the case.

I guess I'm not a very good texter either.. I'm pretty literate and I think i'm careful to get MY message across, but i often am puzzled by other people's responses and can tend to think people are being snappy, impatient or annoyed when they're not at all. I think I am better at real life social cues than I think because hearing and seeing the person talking does help!



Jacoby
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01 Aug 2016, 11:20 pm

Social media seems pretty dependent on having friends and some sort of social life worth advertising, I've never liked the concept. It has never not made feel depressed or self conscious, I try to avoid it completely which leaves you rather isolated in today's world. Brings the exclusionary practices of the real world to the web which use to be something of a refuge



anagram
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02 Aug 2016, 12:39 am

if i ever run for president, my campaign slogan will be "facebook is the devil". and i mean it as close to literal as it gets

if that is mandatory for a social life nowadays, then i choose not to have a social life. i made sure to erase every trace of all posts/information i had ever posted/filled out before i canceled my account some five years ago

i don't believe it actually is mandatory for a social life though. it looks like it is, but there are loopholes, as long as you're creative and determined enough


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auralucario7
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02 Aug 2016, 11:40 am

Yes, I feel you. Whenever I'm on facebook, I see my friends or acquaintances having a good time and enjoying things I wish I could enjoy. I already deal with major depression, but it makes me feel even more alone and not want to talk to people. I mostly just use it to look at and share memes.



namaste
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02 Aug 2016, 11:51 am

i have facebook right from time it was launched i was one of the first fews to login there. i enjoy my FB time

Have not added any friends or known persons. i have just joined groups like Adult children of alcoholics, PTSD, Depression, Spiritual groups etc.

I read the comments added by the people and give them some motivating words.

but today i encountered a sad thing. i got updates on my page about a guy with whom i used to chat on FB
and had met twice during support group meeting

He is no more.

So there is good and bad of FB


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WrongFellow
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04 Aug 2016, 10:28 am

Facebook sucks.

FB is part of a very modern peer-pressured social terrorism that demands (a) that everybody is constantly blabbing, even if the blab is about trivial nonsense (because otherwise you will be called ‘asocial’, which in many environments is considered the worst condemnation possible), (b) total transparency to the point of social exhibitionism.

This has actually become the subject of serious philosophical inquiry. See, for instance, Psychopolitik. Neoliberalismus und die neuen Machttechniken, by Byung-Chul Han (in German. I don’t know whether there’s an English translation already; translated the tile would be “Psychopolitics. Neo-liberalism and the new techniques of power”). See also his The Transparency Society (see the description at Amazon. Sorry, as a new user I'm not yet allowed to add a URL here).

Surprisingly many naive people indulge in FB exhibitionism, without the slightest sense of privacy: we all have seen the persons who divulge everything about their private life, their relationships, where they spend their vacations, which movies and TV shows they have seen, whether they have had a headache today, etc. etc.

I think that such people are pathetic. They have no dignity at all. There is so little in or about them that is worth keeping private that they spill everything about themselves onto the street.

I have a FB account, where I have mentioned things about myself that can be found on the web already anyway. I have the account only because I know a few people who like to send around news through that medium. Whenever I want to inform somebody about something, I will write to those persons privately, and not to the whole world.