Not wanting to keep the friends you make

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I hope someone else can relate to this. I sometimes make friends with people very impulsively. In the moment it seems like they will be a good friend for me. Then a very short time later I regret it and feel like I want nothing to do with the person. I usually find out something about them that is just intolerable to me and it can happen very suddenly in a way that is hard for me to hide my feelings about it. And I start thinking incredibly judgmental thoughts about them and I'm afraid I'll blurt it out. I feel bad about it and don't want to hurt their feelings even if I think they probably don't care much about my feelings or might be a bit of a jerk themselves. How do you ease out of situations like this?

Friendship is a type of dance. If y0u don't reciprocate then your problem should solve itself.

i have observed friends mostly use us to get their things done

and everyone mostly keeps distance and calls when they want something

and if they are calling and there is some mutually beneficial thing for us then ok
otherwise its better to say No.

but always maintain diplomacy and not avoid people unnecessarily

I agree: most friendships work on a contingency basis.

It's probably better not to "break-up" the friendship, but to allow it to fade away without anything being said.

Well one person was bad mouthing someone for being autistic. I spoke up about it but I feel like I should have said more. It just didn't feel like my opinion or my feelings would actually matter to anyone. I can't be around people who act that way.

I relate to making a new friend and then wishing I hadn't, but more for reasons of worrying about the potential for new demands made on my time and my routine. A couple of weeks ago someone struck up a conversation with me and we found we had so many interests and opinions in common that she wanted to exchange phone numbers and e-mails, and she invited me to come over and have a meal. She showed me where she lived. It's not far from me but it's in a spot that I don't like to be alone in after dark (good reasons, trust me, it's not a safe spot). Not only do I not want to have to come home alone from that neighborhood at nightime, but I just don't feel up to a new friendship that needs hanging out time specially arranged. I have friends who hang out for a while when I'm already out in the place I go spend time in, but I no longer want to be going out to meet or visit anyone anymore.

I did e-mail her to be sweet, but she hasn't responded, which I'm kind of relieved about. I just don't think I can sustain any new stuff in my life.