Yigeren wrote:
There are an awful lot of things that do not come naturally to me. I must think about them and remind myself of them. Many things that I should have just "picked up on" at least by the end of middle school (probably before) I only learned just a couple of years ago. In fact, these were generally things to which I was totally oblivious. I never realized that I needed to ask others questions of themselves, for instance, or what the purpose of small talk was. I didn't understand that friendships needed to be reciprocal, in that I should call others to get together, or they will think that I don't want to be friends. I didn't even understand when others were making efforts to try to be my friend.
I didn't understand most of these things until I started reading this forum. I'm still not good at applying them in real life. I either forget or get too anxious when I do remember.
I am fine with tone of voice as well.
I'm pretty sure eye contact is at least natural to NTs (in most westerns culture anyway. I know it isn't universal). As far as knowing what to say or do in various social situations, I think everyone struggles with this from time to time, but Aspies will struggle with it much harder and more often.