What do I say to estate agents?

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I think this might be completely out of place but I don't know where else to post it, so I'm sorry if this is the wrong place for my post!

I'm currently looking for a flat to move into with my boyfriend (who is also autistic) and when estate agents show us around flats, they seem to want us to say something. I don't totally understand why I would need to say anything, because after the estate agent says "this is the bedroom/bathroom/etc" there really isn't much to say about the room apart from asking if it comes with all the furniture that I can see, and prices, and after that they are still looking at us like we should be talking! Can anyone give advice on this please? It's frustrating me and my boyfriend, and I wish the estate agents would just say what they want us to talk about.

Thank you for any help about this, it would be greatly appreciated!

Agents are used to "reading" clients' behaviors and, more importantly, clients' interest in renting or buying. So, if you weren't very easy to read, they would press more and more in hopes to understand why you aren't interested. They might even start offering discounts or other incentives to get you to act impulsively.

It might be one of the few times that autists are better at social/professional interactions than NTs who "oooh" and "aaah" frequently during a tour, only to tip their hand about how they would rent or buy regardless of more mundane considerations like discounts.

Thank you, that was an incredibly helpful reply and it's made me feel a lot better about the situation! It's good to know that people on the spectrum have the upper hand in social situations sometimes

I strongly recomend you to study the contract very carfully before you sign it. If there is something you don't understand, then find out what it means.

Thank you very much for your response, my parents have advised this too, and it comes up on google a lot. I will make very very sure that I understand the contract before signing, thank you for recommending it!

Oh, and maybe if you are sensitive to sound, you could ask how much you can hear the neighbours through the walls, and what kind of neighbours you will get if you choose that place.

Haha I thought of that too! My boyfriend and I are going to look for flats on weekends when most people will be home (hopefully) so we can see how noisy it would be on our weekends. That's a really useful tip, thank you

This is one of the areas in life where the ability to do an awful lot of research and pay attention to details can really work well for you.

^Yes. I asumed they where renting. If you are buying, then absolutely, the more research the better. I have just bought my first apartment, and I spent years researshing.

If you are renting, ask if the landlord will be carrying out any repairs or updates before the new tenancy.

I had one agent who showed me different places. After the first day she picked up on when I was done looking at a room. I'd ask a couple technical questions now and then but didn't really give opinions on specific rooms. I would say something like "okay" or "next" when I was done looking at the room. I spent more time looking at garages, laundry rooms, bathrooms, and kitchens for all their functionalities. Only spent a couple seconds in bedrooms and living rooms. After the tour was complete I'd give a little feedback and that seemed to help her the most. Either the garage wasn't big enough (wanted a 2-car+), the master bathroom had a tub when I prefer a stand-up shower only, laundry room was carpeted which would get ruined if the machines broke, etc etc. She took notes and was able to narrow the list of tours quickly. I didn't have to talk too much.

Thank you for your advice, I'm sorry I'm so late in replying! Yes we are renting, and it is incredibly lucky that I do get so obsessive about things I am excited about like this so I do remember details! I have a terrible memory unless it's about something I'm excited about haha. It's the staring from estate agents that makes me so blank, and I don't know how many more technical questions there are to ask after "does this item come with the flat?" and prices and things.

Anyway, thank you all so much for all your advice, you've put my mind at ease and now me and my boyfriend are more excited than nervous about viewing flats! All of you have honestly made my day because you've all been so kind and willing to help a stranger. Thank you!!

The thread 'What Do I Say to Estate Agents?' "hits the nail on the head so to speak" regarding the need for trusted third party advisors e.g., wingman to navigate those challenging transactions such as renting an apartment.

The thread, 'Can the SF-Bay Area Become a Model for Autism services?' (LINK) discusses the potential for trusted professional services to act as impartial advisors, and advocates.
LINK: viewtopic.php?t=335566

Excerpt from third post: For example, Aspergers often presents difficulties with social skills; hence the need for professional services acting as navigators in such matters as purchasing a vehicle, assisting with paperwork for health care benefits, as well as the process of renting an apartment.

Fifth post (latest post as of this writing) offers additional detail.

Thank-you for creating a discussion thread to address often overlooked concerns!

They expect you to respond to how the room looks, and discuss it amongst each other, in terms of "i like the color", "it's a bit small", "too close to the buildings' elevators".
These comments can help the agent to make the next flat they show you a better fit to what you are looking for.
(and, of course, to know if they can boost the price a bit if you like the flat quite a bit).

watch some house-searching programs on tv, those often have the people act in the way the agents would want (although the acting is poor, and way over the top, it gives a decent impression)

Thank-you for sharing experience, and advice regarding the usually typical scenarios of interacting with property management people.

The TV shows on house searching are "fine to a point," as these shows offer reasonable assessments of interactions with property agents. Personally, it "piques my interest" to watch shows on overseas examples of house/apartment searching. For example, episodes of shows in Asia, and Africa present examples of interactions with property agents very similar to here in N. America.

Again, as stated in my post, it is an excellent idea to enlist the help of a trusted advisor to assist in property transactions, as well as keeping advisors "on a retainer basis" for any follow-up situations.

Growing up, I remember those times of being present with my parents during property transactions; that is transactions made successful through the help of trusted advisors, advisors who in-turn were recommended by our family's trusted friends. I strongly feel that I had picked up "the gist" of such experiences by osmosis. Hence, my sentiment to the present day!

The need to enlist trusted advisors extends beyond estate/property agents, the half-dozen other (estimate) types of professional services necessary to advise clientele on significant transactions. The world of important consumer transactions are sometimes challenging (even for NTs NeuroTypicals).

Forums such as WrongPlanet offer "open windows" of opportunities to discuss, and possibly influence, and support helpful resources. A much-needed chance to boost positive sentiments; to boost a positive-orientated self-fulfilling prophecy!

Thank-you

They probably want you to talk about what you like & don't like about the rooms & the place so they can get abetter idea of what places to show you.