I decided to move to a new city, mainly because I wanted to live independently from my family, and I study a course here so I had to cut travelling. Where I lived previously it was just a small town with not many people like me in their 20s, but here there is plenty. By doing this move it was also my goal to make friends and even try and have a relationship.
But I underestimated how difficult this can be. I don't get on the best with people on my course, and its not part of a proper university so I don't get to meet many other students with similar interests.
I have done things with my housemates but they are usually busy, and they have plenty social relations outside the house. I end up just being on my own most in the house focusing on my interests which dosen't require social contact. I enjoy it but sometimes I feel so empty and lonely it hurts. I get worried about my physical health because I sit at computer most days and mental health. I feel like no one cares me existing. I don't have that many friends.
When I do go out I see all these people doing things enjoying the weather and their lives and I'm just walking around as an observer and feeling sad on my own.
Now, I know the only one that can change things is me but I feel really self conscious to talk with strangers. The everlasting paradox for me is when I'm actually having social contact (even if its something I can be interested in) the uncertainty of social situations and loads of other reasons overloads me so I end up going back and being on my own again.
Does anyone else feel the same way in a new place and how do you cope? I thought a city would make me feel less lonely than a town but it kind of feels worse.
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Diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome (mildly)
11 Sep 2016, 10:56 am
