Describe your social life.
I am getting to where I don't like people in general very much. But it's not like I can live out the rest of my days as a hobo on a mountain top,so I have to learn ATLEAST the basics of socializing. Of course,my social skills are surprisingly high for an aspie.And even though I don't exzactly like people,I like meeting new people that interest and/or intrigue me.
When I DID go to school,I hardly talked to anyone,unless I wanted to or needed to.When I dropped out,I started going to the mall and wal*mart alot and meet new people,made a few friends,and became...somewhat popular.
I would have people come up to me and say,"Hey,Maria! You're Jessy's friend,aren't you?" (Maria is the nickname that was given to me by a group of goths.)And I'm like,'Yeah,and you are...?"
Of course,I'm going BACK to school soon,so I will be FORCED to socialize even more,probally more than I've gotten used to.
-SpaceCase
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Live and let live.
I have two friends in town that I met in high school in '93, but I rarely see or talk to them these days. I am probably closer to a few Internet friends even though I've never met them. (Or maybe that is why?... I am a lot more comfortable with text chats.) And I get along really well with my younger brother.
Ehh... most of my actual contact comes from the net, but I DO have physical friends... albeit in what's probably a weird way.
I'm the type where my tendancy to socialize (if there's people I trust) is dependent on my mood, the phase of the moon, what I ate for lunch 3 weeks ago, etc. Thus I tend to jump from 1 group to another at times... and there's other times where I prefer total solitude.
Anyone who I don't ditch permanently... is either very very understanding, or somehow crazy too. In fact there are a few people who I will talk to and be REALLY close with for like a year, through some means lose all communication with for another year, and after that just spontaneously resume friendship as if nothing ever happened. I know for a fact it's not normal, but neither are they; I've certainly not gotten any complaints for it.
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In regard to friends, my social life is finally looking up--hasn't been this good since early elementary school. I'm talking to people more than I ever have, I'm finally seeing people outside of class, and I'm making plans to do it more, while still getting plenty of solitude. I'm really happy about it. I don't have true friends, no, but it's better than before.
Still, I wish there were more people I could connect with. As I've said in other posts, there aren't a lot of geek/goths near me, or goths for that matter, and it's frustrating because that's such a large part of my personality and, indeed, it's one of my special interests. But...you gotta make do with what you got, I guess.
I actually can't believe how much of a social life I've had considering that my communication skills are horrible and I need a lot of time just to myself and with my family. Although I guess I really wasn't close to any of them, I had a few really nice friends in high school and I still communicate with one via e-mail and see her a few times a year. I didn't make any friends in university but I joined an service club and met some very nice people there and did lots of activities with them. Now I live in a different country and mainly spend time with my husband, who is by far the closest friend I've ever had; we know a really nice woman with AS who lives just down the street from us and there is another family that we are friends with and see once every two months or so.
Through a series of recent events I no longer have any sort of social circle. I simply don't reciprocate or respond in a normal enough way to keep my social contacts from fading away. This isn't troubling however, because I'm now ready to focus on choosing a career, and I'll also be working full time and getting an education. This doesn't leave time for idle chatter, shared experiences, or all that other nonsense.
Fiz
Veteran
Joined: 29 Jan 2006
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,821
Location: Manchester, United Kingdom
My social life changes all the time. Sometimes (like a few weeks ago) I see lots of people all the time, whereas other times, my social life resembles a dry desert. But I can handle that because sometimes I need the 'desert' to have some time to myself when I have been out a lot.
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The only person in the world that can truly make you happy is yourself.
I have a few good friends at college. Unfortunately they are really busy and so I can't see them often. I also talk for a little when I run into acquaintances on campus, which happens every so often. I also talk to an old roommate sometimes--we got along really well and got to know each other. Finally, I have one friend from high school whom I talk to on the phone every once in a while, although I haven't seen him in over a year.
My best friends all share my interest in science to some degree, and most of them have some Aspie traits as well even though none of them are actually diagnosed (to my knowledge). By "Aspie traits" I mean strong interests in technical fields that most people see just as something they have to learn (as opposed something fun to learn), general introversion, disinterest in parties except for the drinking, dancing and/or other activities, lack of instinct on how to pick up girls, etc.
I certainly can feel comfortable hanging out and talking to some guys who don't have these traits, though the level of understanding is not as deep. For instance, my roommate last spring and I liked to talk with each other even though he was much more social, and though he had some interest in science, it was nowhere near mine.
I think that once I get out of college it will be more difficult to meet friends. Even being in college I have trouble meeting the kind of girls I'm looking for. On the other hand, I may end up being in academia my whole life, which should help me make friends if I can't keep in touch with my college friends. Also, once I do start to have luck with girls (I think it will become a lot easier after the first time), I will undoubtedly meet people through them.
I am home
Yes, as I said, my friends back here are amazing! Some of them are simply brilliant when it comes to humour. They are so good at pretending to be stupid I think they've actually fooled EVERYONE into thinking that. Hell, in my new city, I think people think I'M stupid because of what I say but I do it because it IS stupid.
Last night, a few of us went out for breakfast at 12:30am. I got the works, it was awesome!
Unfortunately, my friends tend to not do a WHOLE lot outside of simply watching t.v., so this week was great but its only for a week - I'd get bored if I stayed longer, no offense, but there arent many discussions about politics or things like it.
My one friend is studying the brain and doing so because of Autism. We had some interesting conversations and I enlightened him on the views people have here
I have a few friends from junior high/high school that I was recently reunited with on MySpace. If friends of other family members count, I would have about 20-25 friends right now.
What I want more than anything is a girlfriend--one with similar interests, and who is also very physically attractive. I have been in two relationships in the past (the first girlfriend cheated on me, and my second girlfriend and I were exact opposites, and I wasn't very happy in that relationship).
Tim
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