Wanting Friends

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Over the years I have been very judgemental on myself and I've had low self-esteem. I've always struggled with making friends. It never really came easily to me and it still doesn't. It's very hard for me to communicate with people I don't know well. I have a couple of friends, but I don't really have any close friends. Every time I ask someone to come over or get together I pretty much know what their answer will most likely be. The answer is always no. The first time I ask someone they will come over with no problem, but every other time I've asked It's been, "I'm sorry. I can't". No matter who it is, almost all the time they say no. It makes me feel depressed and I feel like it has to be something that I'm doing. Something I'm doing wrong. When I'm at home and I ask a friend to come over I'm always more myself and more relaxed than when at school around peers. I don't care about how many friends I make, I just would like to make a couple close friends. I'm not sure how to do that when I have little confidence in myself.

Hey sorry to hear you are feeling that way. I don't have all the answers but from my own experiences their is some things I can say. I found that at school the best way to ease yourself around people is to be around them as much as possible. When are you are around them you gradually get used to them and may eventually participate in what they are talking about. Gradually I guess you may find yourself more relaxed and communication may be easier. I am 16 and I have found this strategy to be worthwhile, I just jump in when people talk about interesting stuff and its fun.

Do you have any special interests?

Thanks. and yes I enjoy writing music, singing, and dancing. I also love doing makeup. I've tried to connect with people through this interest with no success.

May I ask what did you do?

I've tried clubs, camps, and sports.

Well I think you definitely consider going back to those at a later stage. But I do think it is important that you become more at ease around people if you think it is a problem you have.

ok. thanks

No problem.

Sorry to hear this.

To help out, it might be good to invite people to go places like the cinema, a lunch/dinner/drink somewhere. See if this works. But I understand overall how frustrating it can be to be actually trying to socialise. You'll get to where you want soon though, as long as you don't give up.

Where people and have come to your house, what activities do you do? And at the time how did you feel these encounters were going, both for yourself and the other person (ie what was the vibe you was getting from them?).

Regarding making friends in social clubs/activities, I do help in this area so feel free to send a PM if you'd like that help.

Wish you the best.

yeah I've done that before and it sometimes worked out. When people come to my house I usually dance, watch a movie, or just talk. I felt like the encounters went okay, but a few didn't go as well as I wanted them to go. The vibes I got from some of them kinda felt like they didn't want to be here or never wanted to come back again. and thank you for trying to help.