Is it harder to have friends if you have ADHD AS WELL as ASD

Page 1 of 1 [ 2 posts ] 

Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

25 Oct 2016, 7:53 am

Because ADHD is another disorder, added to Asperger's I think it makes social life even harder. I know some Aspies that aren't inattentive and hyper like me (I have ADHD and ASD), and although they still have social awkwardness, they still seem to have more friends than I've ever had.

With me, however, I've always been rejected and excluded, especially at school. I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD back then, but I was ASD, but now I know that I think having ADHD with ASD too makes it even harder to have a decent social life. My ADHD makes me act hyper, which is annoying to others, and my hyperactivity is impulsive; I am aware of how annoying I am to others but I sometimes forget myself OR feel I have to be 'verbally energetic'. Also my ADHD makes me inattentive, so that makes me come across as 'dumb' to others. So, as a kid at school, I was seen as 'stupid and annoying', and that soon defined me, so the kids knew to just exclude me out of their group.

So does having both the disorders together make life even harder than just having the ONE disorder (just ASD or just ADHD)? Because for a female with mild ASD, without having common ASD stereotypes (I was not a geek at school, and I always tried participating in social activities with my classmates), I was a pretty lonely and isolated teenager. :(

Does anyone else feel the same about this?


_________________
Female


Summer_Twilight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,252

26 Oct 2016, 12:30 pm

Oh my goodness, yes, and it has caused lots of misunderstanding, callousness, and rejection. Believe me, that's a form of prejudice. It's worse when you have other people who have similar issues who won't accept you because your hyperactivity can put them into sensory overload.

1. I had neighbors across the street complain about living across the street from the neighbor kid who was hyper and they didn't want to have anything to do with our family.
2. I have been excluded from opportunities
3. I have been exempt from birthday parties and other gatherings.
4. I had a crush on another Aspie who took a lack of interest in me because my he claimed that it not only put him into sensory overload but it was also "Childish and immature." So he chose to hang out with another now ex-friend of mine who was with NLD (Non-verbal learning Disability) because she was "More calm" though he didn't share the romantic interest in her either. They were just friends but I was both jealous and mad at him.
5. I have also confronted people about excluding me only to be told: "Yeah I wanted to invite you and I had asked the others in the group and they said no because you were too much to handle."

Don't take it personally, though, because as you age, your hyperactivity and impulsiveness will slow down. I also recommend three things:
1. I would suggest listening to Dr. Temple Grandin and Jennifer O'Toole because they are both on the spectrum and appear to have ADHD. Also look at a character named Pinkie Pie from a show called "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic." She is extremely hyper.
2. Stand up for yourself and say things like

a. My hero is Dr. Temple Grandin and not only is she hyper but she is super successful. If she's hyper and on the spectrum then that's okay with me too/

b. Purple Tunafish, which is something that I got from Jennifer O'Toole's Vlogs "Speaking Geek."

c. Personally, I think you are too boring. You're not energetic enough and I am sorry you can't catch up. Perhaps, I am related to 'The Flash' or 'Dash' from the Incredibles.

d. You're concerned because..."

e. So Robin Williams was hyper and before he died, that made was paid millions of dollars to be himself. So I am not going to change because you don't approve.

f. Just get over it or deal with it.

3. If you want to slow down, look into foods and eating habits that will cause you to slow down.
:D