Is this a sign that she's lost her interest?

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Summer_Twilight
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06 Nov 2016, 7:38 pm

Hi:
I recently I had a birthday and invited lots of people and one of the people who I invited ignored my invitation and did not bother to contact me. She also did not bother wishing my happy birthday. Instead, she contacted me a few weeks later and asked me how my birthday was. When I asked her why she didn't come, I got these stories.

1. She and her mom were preparing for a family member coming into town the following weekend.
2. She doesn't drink
3. She doesn't like attending large parties

I said "Well you could have told me that" She did apologize and I suggested that we get together with two other friends and their parents at my house and she suggested that we meet up at a sandwich shop, while telling me that she and her mother are "In the poor house" because she claimed that her mother's boss took her bonuses and paid vacation away.

Today, I attempted to send out a feeler for how many people are available for a small gathering for the day after "Thanksgiving" in about 7-10 people. She contacted me via facebook message and said was having a fit. "I thought I said a small group." I told that that I was looking at 5-7 people and she said "No, 2 people."

Do you think she has lost her interest?



K4NNW
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08 Nov 2016, 2:56 pm

It sounds almost like she was just not wanting to attend the gathering. However, with not contacting you on your birthday or trying to get back in touch with you, it seems like she's trying to make this more about her. It also sounds like she might be wanting you to pick up the tab.



Summer_Twilight
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08 Nov 2016, 4:14 pm

1. Someone else said that she does seem to want to make everything be about her or rather where she is the center of attention.

2. Pick up the tab, I don't know if that was her intent or not because he hasn't asked me to buy her a sandwhich.

We have had a conflict since Christmas last year where everything I turn around, she has wanted to do things that make me mad.

1. When it was her birthday, she made the decisions and me, yet she let another friend of ours make a choice on what to watch or listen to music-wise.
2. She also pushed my buttons several times by trying to pick on me because she and her mother did not approve of the way I do things. In fact, she had called me a few times to cut me down.



K4NNW
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14 Nov 2016, 1:11 am

That sounds suspiciously similar to narcissism.



Summer_Twilight
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14 Nov 2016, 6:24 pm

I ended my relationship with her because

1. She wasn't calling me like she used to
2. She bailed on getting together with me
3. She started calling me up to ridicule me over this or that.

Example-

1. Last Christmas, she knew that I would be alone but her mother was having a large gathering with her family. I found out that another friend's mom was going to be working. So I invited him over for movies and Chinese. She found out and called both of us late at night. A) She tried to convince him to stay home with his family- called him after 1:00 am three times. B) She left me a message and said that it was unfair for me to pull him away from his family.



AnodyneInsect
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24 Nov 2016, 2:53 pm

I am sorry you had to deal with this. I had a similar problem with a 'friend' a while ago. This person was very self centered and tried to play me against my boyfriend and would have crisises anytime they found out I was in town to visit him. It started becoming this 'friend' refused to talk to me on the phone and contacted my boyfriend a lot and suddenly needed him to play hero to the crisis when I was in town but didn't do this when I was home. For a long time this person acted like I was horrible to my boyfriend and even though this person was married they did everything to try and show me I didn't belong and that everything is my fault because I couldn't act the way they wanted me to be. This person was a world unto themself and started sucking me into their button pushing and after a while I felt that I was at fault for things that I was not at fault for. People like that are very dangerous to your health. I am glad to hear you were able to get away from that person.



Summer_Twilight
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24 Nov 2016, 10:16 pm

Earlier this year,she was awful this year at her birthday party by picking on me over this or that.

Example- She made it clear to me that it was HER birthday so we had to let her pick. Yet, she let another friend pick something out.

She and her mom found out that I get jury duty and they felt like I should not get that over the littlest things.
1. I like to chit chat
2. I would not know the technical terms.