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Summer_Twilight
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23 Dec 2016, 8:15 pm

I was at the grocery store earlier tonight and I had let a couple of people move out of the way first. This included a woman with a scooter. Though she thanked me, I went on to tell her a quick story about a time when I was in a cast and required the scooter and how no one seemed to move for me so I went on to talk about setting examples for others. Rather than saying thank you, she got an attitude.

"Well no no one has done that for me. See you!"

What went wrong?



fourcandles
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25 Dec 2016, 5:08 am

She may have thought you were insinuating something as a criticism of her, or it may have been something about your tone of voice, or she may just have been the sort of person who spends their days looking for something to be offended by.

When talking to people I don't know, I find it's better to quit while I'm ahead. Some people take offence at the weirdest things. I would have responded to her thanks with a quick "no problem" and moved on.



Summer_Twilight
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25 Dec 2016, 8:47 am

Sometimes,I am not always aware of the sound of my own voice. That is why I had to ask.



the_phoenix
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25 Dec 2016, 9:08 am

To my mind, you were calling attention to this lady being in a scooter, and making her feel uncomfortable. Talking about things like casts and scooters with a stranger who happens to be using a scooter ... well, it's a negative, unpleasant topic of conversation.



Luhluhluh
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25 Dec 2016, 9:18 am

She's was probably just stressed out. People generally are stressed out over the holidays, stores are more crowded, and imagine trying to get around all that in a scooter.

I'd say she was probably just stressed and didn't really want to be bothered by talking to some stranger. Just letting her move ahead and a nod and a smile would have been enough. That's my guess.


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BTDT
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25 Dec 2016, 9:57 am

The best course of action is to be helpful but not make any attention to the fact that you are helping.

A lot of disabled people prefer that nobody calls attention to their disability, even when it is obvious. They want to be normal like everyone else.



Summer_Twilight
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25 Dec 2016, 5:37 pm

Thank you very much.



the_phoenix
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25 Dec 2016, 6:42 pm

You're welcome, and thank you for being open, Summer Twilight ...
Merry Christmas Day or Season! :)



drlaugh
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25 Dec 2016, 6:49 pm

I'm glad you helped her/them.

Sometimes I go on in a conversation when the other person is ready to move on.
I was going to give an example but I'm guessing others reading want to move on.
8)


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carturo222
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25 Dec 2016, 11:50 pm

From what I've seen in my own efforts, the unspoken social rule seems to be, Give help, but Don't say "Hey, I helped." The lady in the scooter may have believed you were congratulating yourself or boasting about how helpful you were.