Was I unreasonable? (Rude passenger with screaming child)

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On Saturday I took my regular commute into the city. It's Christmas time and there is a market currently going on in the city meaning that the buses are busier than usual and filled with commuters from my county who are only travelling through for the market.

Anyway, all the seats are filled up and I take the window seat in a massive coach. I'm 28 and a man in his forties with a screaming child decides to sit next to me whilst his wife and somebody else sit next to two separate other passengers.

The child is screaming non-stop which is hurting my ears but instead of saying anything I ignore it and listen to my music to drown out the sounds whilst appreciating the parents are probably stressed enough. I was expecting it to go on for about fifteen minutes... no... one hour and twenty minutes it went on for and the man let his child crawl all over me, smack me in the face with things and at one stage he even deliberately juggled his child into me almost as if he was deliberately trying to get my back up.

I still kept my composure and ignored it and as it got to my stop I stood up and just as I was about to ask the guy to 'excuse me' he saw me getting up and turned his back on me, blocking my exit and started to have a conversation with his wife across from him. I then said, 'Sorry, I need to get past to get off at my stop!' And he started to swear and shout at me saying, 'Well if you said excuse me I would have f*****g moved for you!' Causing an unnecessary scene at the back of the bus upsetting a lot of passengers so I turned to him and just gave him a 'pfft' and walked off. Never mind the fact you have just sat next to me with a screaming brat for almost two hours where any other decent person would have gave you a mouthful by now... but okay...

Was my asking of him to excuse himself so that I could get off my bus rude? I've always politely stood up and asked people nicely if I can get off at my stop if it's busy without any problems so what was his problem?

I keep going over and over in my head if I should have said more or not. I do regret not having that space to move off the bus and get another one sooner because I should have reported them to the driver and asked him to remove them as I do not think just myself was affected by his behaviour but it's left me upset the last few days because I did nothing to hurt or upset him... I just asked a simple question.

Has anyone else had this experience and how best to approach someone with a screaming child like that in the future? Something tells me that these kind of people are looking for a confrontation whether you say anything or not.

From what you wrote it sounds to me like you were as polite as most anyone would be in that situation. I don't know what his problem was but maybe he was upset about his kid's behavior & misdirected his anger at you. Or maybe he was upset about something else that happened that day or he's just an a$$hole.

He just sounds like an as*hole. And as*holes don't get nicer when they're dealing with a screaming kid. I think he was just trying to dump his frustration on you.

I think you handled it well. There is nothing to be won by fighting back in this instance, or explaining yourself. I think you are torturing yourself over this because you would like to think that there is some way you could have avoided the confrontation, but I doubt it exists. You can't control other people.

Just try to get over it. Do something nice for yourself, go for a walk in nature or whatever helps you re-center yourself.

You were good to put up with being seated next to a screaming brat for over an hour. Usually I get up and move when I've got someone with a kid next to me, even though that means they've had to stand up again to let me move out of my seat. I want them to know that I don't have a lot of patience with OPKs, by looking agitated and annoyed.

The man was the rude one for swearing like that in front of a kid, and to a stranger. Yes OK he was probably stressed, but so was you (understandably), so he should have just got up and let you out without saying anything if he didn't have anything polite to say. You wasn't rude at all, you was probably feeling as stressed as he was and wanted to get off the bus quick before you miss your stop, and him seeing that you got up but not moving to let you out just made it even more frustrating for you.

People like that are stressed out and p!ssed off that they're stuck with a screaming kid and you're not so they take it out on you.

Just think of it like this: you get to walk away and go home to a quiet house. They don't. And they're angry at that.

I think you did fine, I would not even give it a second thought.

short answer, NO - you were totally not unreasonable. Many people would've acted less patiently and considerately.

I think you did well trying to ignore the screaming little brat I don't think I could've put up with that, The father was a moron for letting his kid screech and scream on a bus full of passengers.

Thanks for the quick responses. I now understand it wasn't unreasonable for me to phrase my wording a little different because I was not in a position where I could say, 'Excuse me'. From now on if the buses are not busy I'll take an aisle seat and only move if I absolutely have to and if myself and other passengers are put in that position again I might raise my concerns with the driver.