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UsernameforWrongPlanet
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24 Apr 2017, 10:41 am

It seems like a lot of things that anybody else would have the common sense to do naturally, I just don't have. I always have to look around at what other people are doing, to do most things. I've always held my pencil the "wrong" way, and I've been made fun of for it. My girlfriend and mom both make fun of me, and tell me I do everything the hard way. It's like normal things that everyone should do one way, I do the other. Has anyone else struggled with this, and does it get any better with age? I almost feel completely helpless sometimes, and it's embarrassing that my mom or girlfriend have to do things for me at times, and that I ask them dumb questions.

I'm also having a very hard time at work knowing what to say to coworkers and some things they say to me. I want to be close friends with them badly, but I always seem to mess up. For example, a coworker came up to me and said, "What would you do if I head butted you right now?" And I just shrugged, I had no idea what to say.. Was that supposed to be funny? He then said, ""What if I stab you in the throat?" And I laughed and he said, "Finally something made you laugh." I was completely confused and still am by that entire conversation, was he angry at me for not replying or was he joking? Will these things ever come naturally to me or was that just a weird question?

I'm feeling down about myself right now, I just want tips on how to improve these things.



arielhawksquill
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24 Apr 2017, 1:34 pm

The "finally something made you laugh" comment gives it away. You probably have a totally flat, unemotional exterior and he is made uneasy by your lack of reaction, either positive or negative, to stuff going on around you. Also, those were pretty aggressive things for him to say, so he wasn't just being "funny" and he's probably not trying to be your friend.



UsernameforWrongPlanet
Butterfly
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24 Apr 2017, 5:21 pm

@arielhawksquill I feel dumb and embarrassed now. Do you think that was an actual threat?



ZachGoodwin
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24 Apr 2017, 6:14 pm

Harsh criticism, the aspie's weakness in life.

Look, you have to learn how to take harsh criticism. If you learn how to take harsh criticism appropriately you'll be able to handle bullies and mean people. The feelings I have is like water, when people are ignoring me, laughing at me, putting me to the side, and criticizing me, I boil, but when people are laughing with me, smiling, having fun, and are understanding, that is when I am cool.

You have to accept people and not get upset when other people are actually being harsh and in your way. If you do get upset, you boil, and upset enough, you lose it, and you are in an uproar of painful sadness and anger.



ZachGoodwin
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24 Apr 2017, 6:41 pm

Adding to that, laughing people off is not a good idea. I advise that you ignore that guy. He probably does not like new and different people.



arielhawksquill
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24 Apr 2017, 7:36 pm

UsernameforWrongPlanet wrote:
@arielhawksquill I feel dumb and embarrassed now. Do you think that was an actual threat?


No, not an actual threat to your bodily safety, but aggressive none the less.



Sweetleaf
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24 Apr 2017, 8:23 pm

UsernameforWrongPlanet wrote:
It seems like a lot of things that anybody else would have the common sense to do naturally, I just don't have. I always have to look around at what other people are doing, to do most things. I've always held my pencil the "wrong" way, and I've been made fun of for it. My girlfriend and mom both make fun of me, and tell me I do everything the hard way. It's like normal things that everyone should do one way, I do the other. Has anyone else struggled with this, and does it get any better with age? I almost feel completely helpless sometimes, and it's embarrassing that my mom or girlfriend have to do things for me at times, and that I ask them dumb questions.

I'm also having a very hard time at work knowing what to say to coworkers and some things they say to me. I want to be close friends with them badly, but I always seem to mess up. For example, a coworker came up to me and said, "What would you do if I head butted you right now?" And I just shrugged, I had no idea what to say.. Was that supposed to be funny? He then said, ""What if I stab you in the throat?" And I laughed and he said, "Finally something made you laugh." I was completely confused and still am by that entire conversation, was he angry at me for not replying or was he joking? Will these things ever come naturally to me or was that just a weird question?

I'm feeling down about myself right now, I just want tips on how to improve these things.


Are you sure your girlfriend and mom are making fun of you? Maybe they are more concerned and trying to somewhat make light of it. I mean are they like mean about having to help you or more kind about it...I mean sure that can be disheartening but if your mom and girlfriend are willing to help you out just let them, and try not to be so hard on yourself about it.

Also that person seems kind of rude, I imagine they were more joking than it being an actual threat...but it certainly seems like more mean-spirited joking at your expense. Maybe these co-workers wouldn't make very good friends...I'd say continue your job try not to let that crap get to you and perhaps if you can find a different job switch over to something else. Also does your girlfriend have friends she has over or anything that you could interact with? I know my boyfriend has met people through me.


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