I have had a lot more anxiety lately, and it has a lot to do with the site I was on and the people there. I was exposed to too many people who had no problem telling me I was doing something wrong. And that "something wrong" was apparently just being myself.
When I hear that repeatedly, I begin to wonder if anything I do is acceptable to anyone. And that DOES lead to a lot of self-consciousness and anxiety. If I am myself, I get in trouble, but I don't know how to be anyone else.
And who of all these people have to live with me? None of them? Do they have to be in my mind at night when I have trouble going to sleep? No. So why would I be so worried about what they think?
When I AM myself, I have a good time sometimes. I like talking to strangers, and sometimes they like talking to me. I had the best time chatting with a clerk at a grocery store, where we started talking about something and pretty soon, she and I were both laughing hysterically, to the point that other people were staring.
Noticed that other people were in the line behind me, and they were smiling.
I said "this is the fun party line!" And they were happy to be in that line, it was like watching a comedy show.
I was not self-conscious at all. It was fun. Some people also had fun. The clerk certainly did. The people in line didn't have that weird look meaning they were upset or impatient (or gassy or in a bad mood or something that has nothing to do with me).
There are a few eccentric, odd, quirky individuals, who are interesting, funny, thought-provoking. I think it's our job to be ourselves to amuse and amaze everyone else. And not be self-conscious at all. Being able to let it out, have a good time, even at the grocery store, and it sets a good example for others.
They can see that the sky doesn't fall if we are friendly or open or ourselves. What would this world be like if we were all friendly, open, ourselves? I don't know, but I'd love to find out.