Letting it "roll off your back"?

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I work customer service at the Walmart call center, and it sucks. My job description is basically, "Answer phone, get b*tched at, hang up, repeat eight hours a day, at least five days a week-- and if you're rude to the customer, you're fired." I mean, these people say some really horrible things! Everyone tells me that I just have to "let it roll off my back" and forget about it, but I've never been able to do that. When I get a hostile person on the line, that effectively ruins my entire day because it'll put me in a terrible mood and I'll still be feeling sick hours later. Is this normal for aspies? Do these things stick with us more than they do for NTs? How do I do this whole "letting to roll of my back" thing?

They think of you and the person who wronged them, as the same person. They're having a go at someone else.

Right, but they don't seem to effect everyone else. At least not the same way they effect me. They might get frustrated with a bad call, but then they just laugh about it and move on. I can't move on. Like, completely unable to. And I don't understand why. I try not to take what they say personally, but it happens anyway and it puts me in a bad mood for the rest of the day.

This is what hobbies are for--a good hobby will help you forget about all the nasty stuff.

The better work places will give you a coffee break or time to blow off steam after having to deal with a nasty customer--they don't expect you to be a robot.

I have a hobby. I love to write books (LINK IN MY SIGNATURE READ THEM ALL AND LOVE THEM!!!1!), but that doesn't help me when I'm at work. I literally felt like I was going to throw up after having to sit through twenty minutes of verbal abuse from the very first call I took today.

they cannot be paying you enough for that kind of work.

I get paid $13.50 an hour. This is actually the best paying job I've ever had.

Each aspie is different, as we know, but I do tend to think this might be a common trait among a number of us, this thing of finding it harder than other people to let go of something that has bothered us.

I used to work in retail, and I had the same problem of how dealing with difficult customers got deeply under my skin. I take things to heart. Others have always pointed that out about me, but I can't help it, it's ingrained in who I am.
My retail co-workers also used to say oh just let it roll off you like water off a duck's back, because that's what they did, and they found it easy to do.

I honestly think some people do find this natural and easy, automatic, even. And others don't, and it's this type who has harder work on their plate trying not to let these encounters get us down. I do suspect it can be something that is an outcropping of being on the spectrum, for some people. I think some of us can take things to heart and not be able to let go. I think the term is perseverating, in the sense that something gets under your skin and you keep going over it in your mind, can't stop holding onto the remembering of that incident, etc.

I'm NT and I could not do that job. There isn't enough money in the world for me to work any sort of customer service at all ever. Not only is the general public stupid but they're also rude.

Especially in a place like Wal Mart. Ugh. That's the dregs of society right there.

I would not know what to say to you. I know you're not supposed to let it bother you, but I know how you feel because I hated it too and I took a lot of it personally, even though it isn't.

^^^^Very true, even many an NT finds it very hard to take the crap a lot of the public throw at you when you're in any kind of customer service. It's a tough job.

I got one call today from a woman I talked to yesterday. Yesterday I had to disconnect on her because she wouldn't stop demanding things I couldn't do (I went through the scripted goodbye first, so they shouldn't be able to peg me for it). She recognized my name and voice and immediately began going off on me. She was like, in a really loud voice, "FOR RECORDING PURPOSES, ADAM HUNG UP ON ME YESTERDAY!" (cuz she knows we record our calls). I asked if she had the reference number for her last call (she refused to give me her last name just to be difficult), "FOR RECORDING PURPOSES, ADAM REFUSED TO GIVE ME A REFERENCE NUMBER YESTERDAY!" Then she starts rattling off her problem while I'm still trying to find the ticket for her last call, and end up missing just about everything she said. Finally find the ticket, remind her that she has to wait three business days for the store to call her back because that's the rule everybody follows. "I'm filing a new complaint, you idiot!" "*sigh* All right. What store did this take place at?" "Wow. Just wow, Adam. You haven't been paying attention at all, have you?" This goes on for twenty minutes. Eventually I get it out of her that she just wants to complain because people at that store hang up the phone on her. YA DON'T SAY, LADY.

Anyway, she wants a call back now. I can't do that. Well, then let her talk to my manager-- oh wait, she forgot, I like to pretend I don't have any managers (my supervisors don't take calls during the holidays. stupid rule that only serves to piss customers off). Well, that's fine, she's just going to go even higher. How would I like it if Doug McMillan himself (Walmart's CEO) came and fired me personally? She'll make it happen. This is horrible. She can't believe this. I just don't care about her or any of my customers. Blah, blah, blah, blah, friggin' blah, until I finally gave her the goodbye shpiel ("If there's nothing else I can help you with, I'll go ahead and let you go. Please take the survey to rate my service and have a good day. Bye! *hangup*)

That was the very first call I took this morning. My hands were freaking shaking it upset me so much! And since my managers are able to see what we're doing from their computers, I can't wait longer than thirty seconds before autoing back in to take a new call, or else I'll get pinged for it. I've stuck with this job this long because in January I'll be eligible to get promoted to other parts of the company, but I'm starting to wonder if that'll ever actually happen. I'm an aspie guy with no college degree-- where the hell else can I go beside the call center?

*sigh*

^^^ do you have any entrepreneurial skills you can fall back on should this job become intolerable?

Nope. I'm constantly getting chewed out at this job for the things I say, and I'm following a script! My ideal job is doing the same basic thing every day without having to deal with the general public.

^^^the repeated chewing out is a worrisome sign. your idea of an ideal is also my idea of an ideal job, but like 99% of ideals, doesn't seem to manifest in reality for 99% of us, 99% of the time. I do hope you can put out feelers for another job even if it is in the next county or city.

It's weird. I was doing really well at first. I even got employee of the month three months in a row! Then they switched me to a new manager, and suddenly my employee reviews went down the toilet. They're actually saying I'm taking calls too fast now. Like, I thought that would be a good thing! Solve the problem, get them off the phone, and take another call. But no, I'm supposed to deliberately draw things out just for... I dunno, just to make the call longer, I guess. And I'm not allowed to tell the customer I can't do something, even if I can't do it. Customer wants a refund? I can't give refunds, I'm just the guy you talk to on the phone. You either have to go to the store for a refund, or talk to Walmart dotcom if it was an online order. Only, "I can't refund you" isn't a good thing to say to the customer, even if it's followed immediately by "let me get you to someone who can." "I can't" is just too negative. How am I supposed to say it, then? Uhhhh... get back to your desk, Adam.

You know what's really frustrating? The catch 22s they put me in. For the first part in December our managers decided that we weren't actually allowed to file complaints because the stores would be too busy to deal with them anyway. We like satisfied customers, and a customer is never going to be satisfied if you tell them we're literally just throwing their complaint in the trash, so we're not supposed to mention that to them. Just take the complaint like normal. Only thing is, the majority of these customers know from the start that they'll want to hear back from somebody regarding their complaint. What do I do? Do I tell them I'm not filing their complaint and so they won't be getting a call back simply because the store will never hear about this? Or do I lie, promise them a call back within three days like usual, and then take the heat when they inevitably call back in three days demanding to know why the store never called them? Managers don't care. Managers decided they're not taking any calls in December anyway, so it's not their problem!