What does this imply

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Hi:
There is someone who I have known for years that is a leader of a particular religious group at my university. I have known them for years as well. Yet, this person and I have different views that we don't see eye to eye. As a result, they have excluded me from a lot of the events, except for the weekly lunch and learn and a few parties once a year. While their spouse is friendlier, they aren't excited to see, while they seem to be that way with the other students who they do see eye to eye with.

The last couple of holidays, I had sent them some annual holiday cards with a newsletter as a way of saying "Thank You" for inviting me to Lunch and Learn.

I happened to run into this person the other night and though we hugged, I had asked if they had gotten my card and they seemed to get this attitude.

"Yeah, my spouse got it!" I said "I sent out cards every year." They responded with " Yeah that's what my spouse said. Honestly, that's too much work."

What were they trying to imply?

The fact that they said "my spouse got it" implies that the spouse read it instead of them. Sure, the spouse could have gotten it from them mail and given it to the person. But in my experience, people usually still say "I got it" in that situation.

To me, "Honestly, that's too much work" sounds like they want you to stop sending holiday cards to them. It's so much work, why burden yourself with the work? I'm not going to read it anyway! It sounds like that's what they're trying to imply.

I'm sorry, but they don't sound like very nice people to me. I may be wrong, of course.

I took it as them meaning it sounds like a lot of work and THEY would not do it.

Although I suppose I can see where you might think that they are telling YOU it's too much work (and actually meaning don't bother).

I don't know, that one is hard to tell.

Do they send you a card? If not, I would stop sending anything.

I would honestly say that your "friend" is really a cuckoo bird!

What he/she said, really, was in very poor taste.

Maybe he/she has the "social defect," rather than you.

I don't really like receiving cards myself---but I would NEVER tell the people who send me cards that!

Hi Summer_Twilight,

Some guys aren't the sentimental type and don't like sending cards, except maybe when they're dating to impress their girlfriend. "It's too much work to send a card," is a normal thing for a man to say. Many men are happy to let their wives handle the card writing responsibilities.

... But I will add this. It was rude of that guy to say such a thing to you, because you had taken the time, trouble, and thoughtful kindness to send a card. He should have said a simple "thank you."

Also, there are in fact many people who won't be your friend, or who will be a friend but act weird around you, (well yeah, that's not much of a friend though) based on your religious beliefs or lack of belief. No, it's not nice, but that's how the world is.

Me, I believe what I believe and if someone tells me they don't like it, it's their problem.

In any case, I think it was very kind of you to send a card.

...

I am using "They" to keep it confidential but last year, they acknowledged the card and said "Thank you" and along with mentioning that what I did was "Very sweet." Yet, they said it in front of the other student. This time, I ran into them at an event while away from the students.

Aha.

I was at a party last night at my congregation and I happened to be talking to an NT mother of a ten-year-old son with AS as well. I had explained the situation and she told me that they read the whole "It's too much work" line as a form of small-talk or a nicer way of saying "Thank you for the card but it's too much work give out cards in return." I explained that the only reason why I sent one was because it was my way of showing gratitude for inviting me to Lunch and Learn.