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slw1990
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28 Dec 2016, 11:58 pm

It seems like when I try to explaining things to people they seem to take it that I want validation or that I'm getting defensive when I want to be understood. Just today I was asking the managers at work about the hours I was scheduled for one week because it didn't look like enough for someone who works full-time. When I asked one of the managers seemed mad and she doesn't normally act that way so I felt like she misunderstood. When I explained why I brought it up to another manager I told her that I didn't mean for it to come out the wrong way if it did. I feel like after I said this she reassured me like I wanted validation. This isn't the only time that it's happened though. I try not to do this too much because I think that it makes things awkward, but at the same time I don't want there to be misunderstandings and drama. I'm not always sure how to do this without seeming insecure or defensive though.



auntblabby
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29 Dec 2016, 12:22 am

i'm exactly the same way, at least when I was in the workplace. I was always misconstrued and then told I was doing the misconstruing. it is like I have a different communications frequency than other people.



Specina1930
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29 Dec 2016, 6:50 pm

My boyfriend likes to tell me that I'm just trying to make excuses instead of taking responsibility. I tell him all the time "i'm just trying to explain what happened and why. I what you to understand the reasoning behind it."

When I ask him to explain or I ask him why he just tells me "it doesn't matter I'm just sorry." He then scolds me and tells me that's how I should respond to him. Super confusing and obnoxious.



auntblabby
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29 Dec 2016, 6:53 pm

^^^^welcome to our club 8) btw, are you sure you two are a good match?



Specina1930
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29 Dec 2016, 6:58 pm

Oh we are terrible together.

He's the overly affectionate, touchy, lovey dovey, romantic, ran by emotions type. And I'm the logical type who hates romance and doesn't want to be touched.

He's still convinced if I take the right meds I'll be cured of my awkward behavior.

Not sure how to end it really.



auntblabby
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29 Dec 2016, 7:20 pm

^^^whatever do you, don't burn all your bridges, as they say.



DataB4
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29 Dec 2016, 11:29 pm

I hate this! Happens to me often enough to make my blood boil! People don't want to understand, don't want me to understand either sometimes. Things just are how they are. Stuff happened how it happened. Whatever. No explanations desired.

I so wish I had some brilliant advice for you, aside from stopping whenever possible to carefully consider any potential ulterior motives someone might have for your question, or possible reasons to feel defensive. Like your question about hours could be seen as, "I'm not happy with my hours/I've been cheated." or the other person could say, "I didn't make a mistake. How dare they think so?"

I know I know, not the most practical advice, but there it is anyway.