bad interraction or good interraction?

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ok..I help run a performance venue where I operate the donation bar...(this means that we don't really charge, but we ask at least for the cost of the beer)
So a guy who is in one of the bands says "Hey is it alright if I pay 25 cents for a lone star?"
and I say, "well you might as well not tell me about it if you're planning on putting in a crappy dontation"
Was that being rude on my part? I still gave him the beer, of course. I sorta felt like after that, the guy kept giving me dirty looks.

on another note, we have an annoying neighbor who comes over. He doesn't pay to get in and he is always bumming stuff from the fridge or trying to borrow money from Flakey without paying it back... I just don't like the guy or trust him, and feel no need to pretend to like someone who gets on my nerves...sometimes he brings his girlfriend over with him, who I have never spoken to. As she is an attachment to him, she gets on my nerves too.
Tonight she spoke to me and said "Do you always look so sad?"
How is one supposed to answer a dumb question like that? Maybe she was only trying to be nice, but to me, it felt condescending. All i was doing was minding my own business and sketching in my sketchbook. I turned away in hope of avoiding having to answer her, but instead I blurted out that I just don't like being talked to....What I meant was I don't like being talked to by these people. I can't fake friendliness when I dislike someone. Their best bet is to ignore me completely.

anywhoo...blah blah blah...
I am mainly wondering about the first incident....the second one i know enough about. I don't really care how I came off to them because I don't like having them around.

I guess it could be argued that your response to the 25 cents question was a little 'abrupt' for NT tastes. But personally I do see your point - 25 cents is a pretty poor donation! As for him giving you dirty looks, it was probably because his male ego was bruised rather than that he was particularly hurt or offended by what you said.
I would blame his male pride!

hehe, ya, i try and kinda filter what ill say to ppl b4 i say it, i know to be socally acceptable its a good thing, sometimes i come across as rude also, all well... At least u were honest with him.

Yeah most people would have taken #1 as offensive.

Something like "You can, but we encourage people to donate something closer to what their drink costs" might do better.

#2, yeah. A good response (for people who ask that you do care about) might be "Oh, I'm fine, I'm just concentrating on my sketching".

The problem is that i often don't know what to say and usually the first thing that pops into my head is the wrong thing.

For #2, (i asked Flakey about it) and he said that I shoulda said "No, I am not sad all the time, but thanks for asking".

If only I had thought of that.

its very hard to come up with answeres right then and their, and if u take a moment to think, ppl will think u r slow, its a complex issue (as all of us have them) with many different answers, tailored to each uneque individual, the problem is, one must find their own way of correcting their social deficencies.

Are you joking, or damaged?

I guess this means that what got said to bum-leech's girlfriend on point two has no implications worth worrying about, since females have neither pride, nor ego. Right?

Good fortune,

- Icarus the Dissapointed

You come across as very bubbly, not sad

Though telling that girl that you don't like talking is probably no loss for you.

btw I have been to a number of free gigs. But generally you have to pay for drinks.

I think you are asking for scroungers if you give drinks for nothing.

NOBODY wanted to argue with me when I said females have neither ego nor pride? My baiting skills are getting dull.

Alright, now that my annoyance at the general human state of painful tension and heartbreaking dissonance between the sexes has simmered back down, I'll attempt to posit a more cogent response.

First, poopylungstuffing, I must give you copious credit for being able to handle such a gig at all. Despite the mentioned difficulties, you're probably much better at dealing with arbitrary humans than I'll ever be. Were I to try such a gig, I'd probably be less than half an hour before I got into a fight, or just plain told someone to f**k off. [Damn my male ego and pride, for it is through it that I have little patience for as*holes and jackasses.] In contrast to me, your responses were rather graceful, if not entirely eloquent. Like you my first reactive response to people is often not optimal; look at how I snapped at girl7000; maybe she was joking, in which case I would now feel like an ass. But you now have retrospect at your disposal, and I assume you have the ability to learn and adapt. If life had a save/restore function, and you could go back and re-do that interaction, what, if anything, would you do differently? arem is right; it sounds like it is your job to coax reasonable donations out of people; how might you have done your job better? The next time someone does something similar, how will you react?

Were you rude to the guy who offered to "donate" 0.25$ for a beer? Clearly, yes; this is a better explanation for why he might have been giving you the evil eye than "male pride". I think a more relevant question is, was your rudeness called for? It may have been. I wasn't there, so I don't know the tone and circumstances. But I've wondered, why he asked [or bothered to ask] about such a small donation. Was he trying to be a jackass or troublemaker? Did he perhaps think he was being cute? Perhaps he only had one quarter, but wanted a beer, and felt compelled to seek some nominal approval? Maybe he was already drunk. Maybe he's just cheap. Maybe he's just stupid. Maybe a lot of things; there are many reasons why he might have asked you such a seemingly absurd question. Extrapolate and ponder them.

There are two distinct methods for how the bar might operate; either you charge for drinks, OR the drinks are complementary and you accept voluntary donations to help defray costs. Your reaction suggests that you are stuck somewhere between these two modes of operation. Either charge for drinks, or willingly accept any voluntary donation, including none. [Personally, I would just charge a nominal cover cost for the drinks; but maybe this is beyond your control.]

I might also comment on that second incident, but you say you've got it sauced. In any case, I wish you well; for those without intuitive access to the so-called hidden curriculum, human interaction can be a rather large headache. I've spent many a long hour regretting and pondering certain interactions, just as you are now. Welcome to the club.

Good fortune,

- Icarus the Computer Model of a "Human"

Hey, here's a crazy thought. If what you say is true, then always bite your tongue when you want to say the first thing that comes into your head, and then run with whatever the second thing that pops into it is. If you discard what is "usually" wrong, can it possibly be any worse?

Or, to take things one step further, borrow a page from Seinfeld:

"If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right." If life were a sitcom, this would work rather well.

Good fortune,

- Icarus the Rubix Cube