anyone in the north atlanta area with middle school aspies?
My son is 13, and just cannot fit in. Everytime he tries to be "one of the guys", he gets nailed for his behavior. We need help. We need the name of a good place to help him learn some social skills. We are desperate and lonely on this path.
Any input at all would be so appreciated.
I am not in the Atlanta area, but I have an 11 year old, and we have researched this (on Wrongplanet and elsewhere) --
One of the best things you can do for kids that age is enroll them in an acting program. Acting can help with the following:
1. Pretending to be neurotypical
2. Developing a sense of humor
3. Developing a skill (acting) that is viewed positively by society
4. Improvisation skills -- which help with "theory of mind" abilities as well as just thinking on your feet
5. Developing a sense of self-worth
Besides, theatre people are just more accepting of those with differences.
Our son just did his first acting summer camp, and it was an incredible experience. He developed a strength of his (singing) and worked on other things that are not strengths. I've heard it said that Tony Attwood recommends social skills classes for when children are younger, but to develop social skills in older children, he suggests acting classes. We've done both, and we are probably going to pull our son out of social skills classes, because the acting classes do MORE, with a lot more instantaneous positive reinforcement (an audience applauds, or people laugh at your joke, etc.).
Not only did the acting director gladly accept our son into the program, but there are many other aspie kids in the program -- and they donated the proceeds for the two nights of performances to the Autism Society.
Can't say enough about how beneficial acting classes are.
Kris
Thanks to both of you. We have done "comedy camp", but that was several years ago. Maybe theater is an idea we should revisit. I greatly appreciate your input.
Our current psych is an Emory doc, but is always so bogged down with her caseload, that it can be very difficult to get information from her.
Thanks again, we will keep trying!
Did your son always have a hard time fitting in? Did he have childhood friends? Did he go outside and play with them, do stuff with them? Ive been in your sons position, but I did have some friends, childhood ones, at school it was a rough scene. I can understand he feels depressed, feels alone, feels like hes maby uncool, different, its a sad feeling not being accepted and many of us have been in his shoes. I wish he would have been around my age and living in my area, im sure we would have made good friends.
I ask the questiosn to get an idea if maby he has had some social practice, if one has childhood friends and always has at least a few friends in school, then they are getting valuble social experience, its hard at that age, cause everyone changes, and childhood friends change too, social behavior gets complex and even those of us with practice in childhood will have a hard time at this age, and itll get tougher, hard to keep up, itll go on im sure for many years, but if he keeps with it, keeps trying to keep friends, or make new ones, he will get that experience and adulthood will be much easier hopefully.
_________________
DX'ed with HFA as a child. However this was in 1987 and I am certain had I been DX'ed a few years later I would have been DX'ed with AS instead.
You just don't know how much your words help me, his mom. Yes, he did have friends when he was younger, but they are all gone. We moved a couple of years ago because the bullying got so bad and we chose to have a fresh start. Not far, just another school district. But the friends were already peeling away before the move. Now, in middle school, he either tries to be one of the guys and gets too physical, which means he has an assault charge on his school record, or he breaks down and cries in front of everyone.
We try to push him to be more thoughtful with his behavior, in hopes that he can "blend" enough to keep him from being so isolated. We end up feeling like we are trying to make him someone he's not. It just so hard for him and we can't seem to find a place for him to be accepted and feel like he fits in. All the private schools are totally out of our financial range.
We just want to help him and feel like we are failing him.
How did you make it through school?
I found this site: http://www.aspergeratlanta.com/
If you're in Alpharetta, they meet at a church on Lower Roswell Rd., which isn't too far of a drive.
I'm female so my experience as a child was a little different than what your son is going through. Middle school was horrible for me too though. My one long term childhood friend realized I was weird and ditched like a rat leaving a sinking ship. I was picked on and felt really isolated and depressed. I went from being a straight A student to barely being able to pass 8th grade. I'm 33 and I still don't like thinking about it...
Private school does help (I went to private schools) but don't feel bad about not being able to send him to one, it's not the end all solution. I still had a hard time.
Look into getting yourself into a support group. Through the other parents, you'll learn strategies to help your son. He might also find some friends in the other parents' kids.
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