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Summer_Twilight
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30 Mar 2017, 12:35 pm

Hi:
I was wondering if some of you know if some positive alternatives to handling anger instead of

1. Holding onto things that one has no control over
2. Losing one's cool?



Corny
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30 Mar 2017, 12:55 pm

Sorry to ask this. But what do you mean by holding onto things that no one has control over?



Summer_Twilight
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30 Mar 2017, 1:35 pm

I mean things that I have no control of and therefore often respond to anger



Corny
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30 Mar 2017, 1:39 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
I mean things that I have no control of and therefore often respond to anger

Yes I have the same problem too. Sometimes.



Summer_Twilight
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30 Mar 2017, 1:46 pm

For me, I get find that I get angry at the unpredictable behavior of others and especially when they seem to speak me in an angry tone.



MjrMajorMajor
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30 Mar 2017, 9:53 pm

Medication seems to be the best way to keep my equilibrium. I tend to over react to negativity otherwise, which does nothing to diffuse the situation.



itsme82
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02 Apr 2017, 5:16 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
Hi:
I was wondering if some of you know if some positive alternatives to handling anger instead of

1. Holding onto things that one has no control over
2. Losing one's cool?


1. Check if there really is no solution to the issue and if there is then goto problem solving mode. Otherwise, act out the anger in the least destructive way when no one sees you (or if just strangers see you in the street if that's okay by you). If it's a big problem and definitely unsolvable, zoom out to your view on life (your values, longer term goals etc) and figure out a solution to get by and get ahead.
2. Depends on situation. Ask yourself, why do you need to always keep your cool? It's not always necessary. If you actually find a reason for wanting to keep your cool then focus on that reason to make yourself patient instead of angry.



itsme82
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02 Apr 2017, 5:21 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
For me, I get find that I get angry at the unpredictable behavior of others and especially when they seem to speak me in an angry tone.


OK for this too, goto problem solving mode about their unpredictable behaviour. Ask the following questions to yourself. Did it really get in your way that much, can you find a way to adapt your plans without losing anything for your goals? If the behaviour is a repeating issue, then, how to get them to not do that behaviour again?

As for the angry tone thing, that's just life, don't expect people to always be calm. No need to take it personally. Focus on the content instead of the tone, see if the content is as bad as the tone. If it is, then deal with that instead (again goto problem solving mode).